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TAILS GETS TROLLED 2: TWIZTED

Nov. 10th, 2013 | 02:10 am
music: http://fuzz.com/station/9335/TWIZTED-TAILS

COVER PAGE
Whatever the hell you've been doing, Lazerbot, good job.
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PAGE 1
MEANWHILE, OUTSIDE THE DEFENDERS BASE, IN THE FUKKIN' PARK,
TAILS, who has travelled all of fifty feet is sitting on a park bench, looking very scraggly from being left alone all by himself for the last twenty minutes. Knuckles is walking over, that cool-ass dude whose hands are also capable of letting him glide through the air,
KNUCKLES: "Sorry about kicking you out of the Defenders, TAILS..."
TAILS puts on a brave face,
TAILS: "No, no, it's coo', it's coo'...I mean, I guess I have been sort of ignoring my training."
KNUCKLES: "Yeah, no it's not, dude.
KNUCKLES: "But, trust me...
KNUCKLES: "I feel like there's a collapse about to happen," says Knuckles,
KNUCKLES: "Like, maybe our lives are a little bit too much fun, you know?"
TAILS: "What do yuo mean, 'too much fun?' Like, being tickled so much you heave?"
KNUCKLES: "Like, we should be balancing more important things that excite us, only, now, it's been so long since we've thought about the hard far away things, the easy foody things pop up and excite us, makes everything come crashing down. Simple pleasures for our thoughts."
TAILS: "I guess...
TAILS: "But, uh, what else is there, you know? I mean, we get everything handed to us. There's money just floating around out here."
KNUCKLES: "Well, actually, I have a job, Tails. I do shit for a living."
TAILS: "Yeah, sure, but what does that mean? I have such a difficult time discerning how I am supposed to do something I do not enjoy when the rewards are so small...like, I do not enjoy flipping burgers, it is very cheap food, how are we supposed to be happy with it?"
KNUCKLES: "Oh, you dumbass."
KNUCKLES: "Not always, so simple, Tails. It gets sort of boring when everything tastes like the grill, you know? Like, what are we doing that we get so excited?"
TAILS: "That's what I mean, this whole thing is so broken, here in Outworld. The place is crumbled in shambles and it's become so difficult to keep moving forward. It would be so easy to just, sort of, lay down, you know?"
KNUCKLES: "Not really, Tails." says Knuckles,
KNUCKLES: "I, uh...I think I'm going to go hang out with the guys."
Knuckles walks off screen and Tails sits there a moment, until whipping out a one-hitter and smokes weed.
And our little Fox looks woefully off into the horizon,
PAGE 2
ENTER: TAILS' interior-monologue!
"Sometimes it feels like that this is all there is, that, somehow, I've been in this one place for my whole existence, so far, and always will be, yet take it for granted. Does not feel like I appreciate the others people a lot, you know?
"Yet, also, right now, is a very confusing things going on by people outside of me who have foreknowledge of secret desires. Like my mind is being laid bare for th ewhole world to see and even thpough I think in my head that I am very cool because I am a member of the same secret society the outside does not match the interior. One particle at a time...
"Like, an elevated consciousness is talking to me and guiding my thoughts to where I am askig whether or not my actions are correct, what my thoughts might be, how far I extend my individuality through my neighbors and loved ones, otherwise, I am just very shy and normal. Maybe it's not always time for laughing, and that would be especially when I cannot control it..." thinks TAILS, as he puffes a joint by himself,
"I mean, when I am comfortable, and have an idea of what things look like around me, I can read the shape of things, how certian thoughts are engaged in communication with other thoughts in a web of strings, and, depending on how deep I am considering these objects, this concentration can also appear as a gravity object. When I think it from the corner of my eye, it appears round...
"Like, what is a fukkin' hand, right.
"Most a baby understawnds is that it is five appendage-worms you control to eat with. But you are spend so m,uch time with this hand that eventually, soon, you can recognize that this is a thing whcih you manipulate to any way you want, building up memories in your mind, pressurizing the seals of your mind. Your brain muscle flexes and the object-orientation, becomes increasingly complex beyond the immediate use of, 'Want.' Also, so many other ways to think about this thing, the uses for ritual and nuances of purpose. For every communication-event taking place in your mind to the external world, what is the communication in-between? It is brain-mind speaking intuitively with teh bodhi-mind.
"Many levels of control, there are back adn forth that is make very confusing when we think so much about the possibilities of immateria appearing in teh real world. Because, remember, the Real World is a vain place where the purpose of these objects extends only so far as you hunger for them. Desire is make them form, but when desire becomes lust, it's mechanisms are nearly unberable. So, it's a tricky situation to balance between the ability to concentrate and the desires which our bodhi-mind holds in memory.
"Because so much of what we are thinking about is intuitive..."
"But, the image is much stronger when I have been thinking about learning, exercises. Keeping the brain-mind thinking about deeper layers of complexity , larger woven strands which are composed of feeling-light--colour. But my concentration does not seem to have any limits, lately...like I am eating a buffet for the volume.
"And ever since my mind is been concerned with the real that it's also getting much worse.
"So, now, I do not want to live in either of these worlds, I just want to feel okay, all the time."
From a distance, the one-armed, three-eyed Blood Ninja, DeMaro, watches from his mountain top vista hideout-mansion (like that 70's house from some BIGFOOT AND TEENAGE BOY comixbook I remember reading once a long time ago), all this, his thoughts appearing,
DEMARO: "Tails' dumb as shit. I can read his fukkin' thoughts, man. Taht's my other secret power.
DEMARO: "Can't believe this idiot is smokin' weed by he'self now. That idiot oughta' know nothing ain't never ognna get better for him that way.
DEMARO: "Lucky for me, i can maybe bend him to my will!! I could make him a thrall, okay, he would eat bugs for me."
PAGE 3
MEANWHILE, BACK AT SHADOW, TOM AND THE MASTER'S TRAINING,
In the background, SHADOW continues to punch boulders, SMACK! WHAM! POW! as THE MASTER is giving TOM some special training,
THE MASTER: We need to takl aboiut these new powers of yours, TOM.
TOM: "You like?" Tom whistles (cat-calling, *groan*)
THE MASTER: It's very impressive, but i am worried about where they came from...what the implications of being able to smash cities means for both us and the Trolls.
TOM: "Yeah, here's the plan, MASTER," TOM says, "is that, ever since those other dudes bit the dust I have just felt this huge upsurge in power...like their souls are crying out from the Afterworld and cheering me on at a huge party.
THE MASTER: Great, man, but, what I'm worried about is you losing control of your powers. So, we are going to go on a special training regime, okay?
THE MASTER, who is back in teh rafters, he is like,
THE MAStER: You need to practice stretching yourself out...because, i am curious, what is it you can do with your powers?
TOM: When I animate the dead i use these strings,
TOM's PUPPETMASTER strings appear, dangling loose in the air (as they have nothing to latch on to)
TOM: but, like, I ask you, where did this strings come from? You know, like, where from my body did these come from, or are they biomass from our Pentagrams, or do are they implant-tools like Darkhawk, or could they also be parts of our bodies we have always had but never known about?
THE MASTER: Philosophy is for suckers, what i want to know, is, can you control your Kaiju form? Because from what I seen, you look like an asshat.
TOM who still wears the same expression as his face as he always has, thinks about this,
TOM: You know, that's a good question.
THE MASDTER: So, what we need you do is train. Here is what you can do, since you have such a hard time concentraing on your abilities,
THE MASDTER: You will practice (outside, idiot) making your body become, one at a time a whole stack of Kaiju parts.
TOM: Hmmm...I think SHADOW is having more fun than me.
CUT TO SHADOW, he is still punching that boulder.
SHADOW: DUMB
SHADOW: ASS
SHADOW: TROLLS
PAGE 4
MEANWHILE,
RYAN GOSLING: "So then what is 'Reality'? Is it the essence of this conversation, the uncountable mutation of personality ingrained throughout this Being, or is it the once experienced memories of a single thought structure. It doesn't matter what I choose to think about that keeps me awake, it's rather, more, what do I continue coming back to? More than one solution foor these many problem.
RYAN GOSLING: "Alaso, always is make thgouhts stand up straight in head hair stick up long and tall, shouting. Not always is good, sometimes is funny though when you is on a reant.
RYAN GOSLING: "Other times, you is only stayt awake to be fucked up. Always allows your thoughts to detriorate thoruoghout the day, impulses warmed and eaten up by mismanaged compulsions. Just say, 'No!' when you feel the joy of videogame recreation, go back to work. They build most of those things to sell SLOUCH, anyway."
Okari picked up her sleeves, hanging low on the garden bench and hugged her master, as he clung his hands to the rail post. His teeth gritted, hair suaved back, eyes genetically sculpted to lift over the years to golden proportion with his brows, bushy and pained, Ryan Gosling said,
RYAN GOSLING: "Anyway, whole thing is point about finding happy place in world of action movie."
Okari's deep, perfect wood balanced features fill with pain known only by a love pillow for her master, wide as the curtain's ruffled edges...a flash as the two make eye contact--
MEANWHILE,
Inside, a small crib holds a BABY! Deeply nested amidst swathes of fabrics, pillows, creature comforts, a tiny baby newly born lies swaddled, CAPTION reads,
CAPTION: "SLEEPING INSIDE FROM DEMARO'S CUNNING SCHEME TO GET LAID, BABY JEBEUS GROWSW MORE POWERFUL EVERY DAY. HE IS VERY LUCKY RIGHT NOW FOR NO ONE KNOW HE JEBEUS YET.
CAPTION: "THAT ALL ABOUT TO CHANGED."
BABY JEBEUS looking up to the world and he see plastic toys that represent the universe, very silly but also very intuitive, for with this he intuit the whole meaning of the world, rising out of he to community, people occupying native animal space, the earth separated by physical invisiible barriers extending upwards, planets rotating the movemenet of the Sun, the cosmos sifting around in dimensinos beyond two as the telescope desires to show us, he see it all as a d20 hovering in the air like a UFO. The CAPTION reads,
CAPTION: "DEMARO HAS PLANTED THE SEEDS OF UNIVERSAL CONCEPTUALIZATION SO THAT HE MAY UTILIZE THE POWERS OF THE BABY JEBEUS.
CAPTION: SUDDENLY!
CAPTION: THE CHILD GROWS STRONGER, PERCEIVING THE EXISTENCE OF ONE CONSCIOUS DECISION AFTER ANOTHER, ALL EMANATING FROM EXTERNAL PERCEPTION, RETURNING FROM THE SOURCE.
CAPTION: "MIND MUSCLES FLEX TO CONCEIVE ONE RANDOM NUMBER VARIABLE TO ACCOUNT INFINITELY FOR ALL BEINGS EXTENDING BEYOND THEMSELVES BY DECISION, CHOICE."
BABY JEBEUS he looks at this, still a newborn baby, swaddled, small smudge on his soft fleshy cheek, he is thinking to himself,
BABY JEBEUS: "Anything we want...Roll the die...?"
CAPTION: Lights shine brightly upon the child's eyes, scrunched so kawaii, mewling,
BABY JEBEUS: "I roll...!"
The d20 shifts in the air, becoming a number which is obscured, as cosmic forces emererge from the air. A shaft of light emanates from nowhere above her, the Baby Jebeus, and she is whisked away...
PAGE 5
MEANWHILE,
TAILS: "I barely remember what it was like to fight the Trolls. Most of them seems like we are now the Trolls but that is something we will never realize. Like, if i got mad at a Troll, I wouldn't be like, "Fuck You, Trolls," I would get mad and shout at them for a while. Then the Trolls would start some shit like we are equals."
SONIC: "Yeah, that's pretty fucked up, Tails."
SONIC: "Tails, this comic is about the collective unconsciousness and how it is the author interacts with these space/time objects
SONIC retrieves a piece of chalk and etches a connect the dots with the stars. These are the eternal lines.
CAPTION: NEVER CHANGING.
CAPTION: CONSTANT.
CAPTION: UNREAL.
SONIC draws...a ring.
SONIC: "What I am drawing is a metaphor, okay. You see this ring? It has no end, no middle, no beginnig. Like that riddle about the chicken and the egg
SONIC WHISPERING FROM THE CORNER OF HIS MOUTH, BACK OF HIS HELD HELD TO HIS FACE: (here is the secret answer big guy, okay, I hope you can handle this)
SONIC: This bullshit just is.
SONIC: You can't have a ring if it had a tail, just like you can't have a chicken without the egg.
SONIC: "That's a VERY BIG SECRET, TAILS, OKAY. DON'T TELL ANYONE."
TAILS: "Yeah, sure, Sonic. I love you, man."
SONIC: "I am built like a Barbie doll, Tails and I love you, too. I wish I hadn't ever killed Dr. Robuttnik...maybe, then, now, I wouldn't be dead. You. Me. Knuckles. We're the dream team, Tails. Like an Ouroboros, each one of us stuffing the other in the ass. When our whole team gets together, it is magick.
SONIC: "Each Troll slayer stuffing the other, a perfect Ouroboros."
PAGE 6
AT THE SEGA HEADQUARTERS,
A very luxurious conference room, a huge table lined with executives, very beautiful and lonely, where there are a number of suits, eleven to be exact, five on each side of teh table and one at teh head of the table, smothered in shadows, except for a big bushy moustache,
SUIT 1: This fighting tournament we are putting together ought to settle the Troll hash, once and for all.
SUIT 2: Imagine, a peaceful world, brought about because of us, SEGA.
SUIT 3: Who kknew you could make a better world by fighting?
SUIT 4, whose looks are quite degenerative of the other three suits we have seen so far, drools,
SUIT 4: This a very good plan.
SUDDENLY! The Head Suit speaks up,
HEAD SUIT, cloaked in shadows: there's just one problem, senors...
HEAD SUIT: My perfect creation is not yet complete.
The Suits look at each other, suddenly very nervous, sweating a lot,
SUIT 7: Well, there's a problem with that Do---
HEAD SUIT: DO NOT CONFUSE ME WITH MY BROTHER, SUIT 7. I AM HEAD SUIT AND WILL BE ADDRESSED AS SUCH.
Uh, sure, okay, HAED SUIT,
HEAD SUIT: NOW, complete your statement or seppekku!
SUIT 7: Uhhh, well, sir, Head Suit, what I meant to say was that our fighter has not yet completed construction. We are still missing some vital components.
HEAD SUIT: I AM aware of this, SUIT 7,
HEAD SUIT: SEPPEKU.
SUIT 7, a little surprised, does that thing where you're startled and you pull away in fright, not terror, just a little hand raised, body pulled back,
SUIT 7 stands up and bows
In the background we see SUIT 7 pull a dirk from the wall,
HEAD SUIT: I have already contacted our best agents, who are preparing the way for us even as we speak.
SUIT 10: Do you mean...?
SUIT 2: Yes, i think he does...
SUIT 5: Noo...he couldn't...
HEAD SUIT: INDEED.
SUIT 7, on his knees, prepares to wedge a dirk into his abdomen,
HEAD SUIT: We have exhumed the corpse of Sonic the Hedgehog, gentlemen. All that must happen now, is for our agents to plant the strongest of his moves, the spin-dash, homing missile, speed shoes...
SUIT 3: Yeah, dude, I remember tose shoes. That bullshit happened in the Ninja Turtles magazine.
SUIT 9 high-fives SUIT 3,
SUIT 9: HEH HEH, TROLL POWER.
HEAD SUIT: GENTLEMEN, I am glad to call you my underlings, for you make a Troll very happy. Yes, it was my brother who gave Sonic his speed...my brother, the anti-Troll...
as SUIT 7 rips open his guts in teh background, simultaneously we reveal that HEAD SUIT is none other than...DR. EGG MAN.
HAED SUIT IS THINKING: Man, fuck that King Koopa, fool. Where's a turtles birth certificate?? How does he expect us to believe he changed his name to Bowser...
HEAD SUIT: and we will avenge his death the only way possible...
HEAD SUIT: by defeating those Troll Killers.
SUIT 1: JUSTICE!!
PAGE 7
A SPLASH PAGE OF MECHA SONIC
HIS EYES ARE VERY RED, TINY PIN PRICKS OF LIGHT.
CAPTION: Deep in the bowels of SEGA, the ultimate fighitng robot is pieced together, bit by bit.
CAPPTION: New Edition Dr. Robotnik, Dr. Egg Man needs only one vital piece to complete his creation.
CAPTION: The brain of Outworld's most popiular Troll Slayer
CAPTION: SONIC THE HEDGEHOG.
PAGE 8
Continuing to discuss the nature of the universe, SONIC now appears besides TAILS, who, in his drug induced stupor is having a very difficult time keeping track of space-time,
SONIC: Individuals are like, pieces of cassette in the Heavenly switchboard, man. Like, everybody's got their favorite format for a while, they all use it the same to say different things because the world in this format is v cool, we have used it for a while and now it is comfortable. These p[erson's memories are different from these person's memories, all the while is new generation of format whcih stores their memory/experiences in a different way is too, and until then, the old generation is make it their way to help learn because adults is still little baby inside, only now is hard and unfirm to world.
Tails: "Like, woah, man. I am listening to you but also what the fuck are you saying, dude."
TAILS IS THINKING: Is like I have very high moment when is the world with Sonic! You all are run the time, so distant from my guessing-prediction, no confidence, okay, because I cannot focus on you all th eitme. Even when I is look straight ahead is horizon lines drawn by complex image-problem. Like, is puzzle that I am always thinking of because I find it very comforting. So, I try to explain the world is to little people who are still child inside, Tails.
Tails: "Yo9u're fukkin' dead, Sonic. So, what is life like anyway, because it seem better when you are baby and hope sptrings from everything with big smsiles."
SONIC: Which end of yhou life is the end, Tails? I see both ways forever now that I is a ghost. I show you, but it blow your mind, little man! Far distant memories of your life when everything you look at seem okay but then is major turn around because the world is fuckin' you over and you are helpin' it, Tails. Pretty soon when you old man, which is never happen to me, only one day I be a Grampa when you sort out that fukkin' Eggman problem, okay, all bitter and rotten, whole world very small because you is so empty comfort. Your thoughts fall to the ground like dirty dishes because you fill up the kitchen sink.
Tails: "...woooaah, like a fukkin' metaphor."
SONIC: YES!
SONIC: EXACTLY!
SONIC clears his head, shaking it very strong,
SONIC: So, all time is you hang out with Defenders buddies because is becomew you very comfortable with many memories you have stored with them. Then, one day, you is clean yo dishes, but you is stumble and knock cassette tape iPod into sink and so dangerous that you never want to even think about it break you fill sink with water and wash dish like it the most natural thing in the world. Soon, is whole sink fill with water in your impatience and the memories are forgotten but the sink it is still fill up with water until everything is overflow onto the floor and you is forget to ever clean up, because life is still okay, right, clean dishes.
Tails: "You live in a bog."
SONIC: YOU smoke weed all fukkin' day, Tails, I am dead running in the fields of what, okay, ain't nobody bothering me in fukkin' space. You are get Trolled! those Troll King and other Trolls is bait your ass and you snap like a walltwig! Then when you smoke weed all dfay you Troll yourself, okay, Knmuckels is smart and gay, wake up, little boy! He do fine on his own, and no one else but your firneds even know you exist except for kicking you out.
SONIC: whoiel time you talk about porn, this vewry sacary idea of Efukt. What about the time you is chew bubblegum and watch erotic imagery? Can you watch erotic imagery, it v difficult, shocking to surprise, but mostly sensual when it is erotic video, otherwise is fantasy-erotic you think about very much and do not mind because it is so comforting. So, porn is booby, erotic imagery is graceful and mindful. Big difference, okay, so what if I pretend to be 12 year old boyh with giant cock who covets hot 18-16yr. old girl. THIS CARTOON, everyone is over 18+, only, I not mention that thing first so the order of operation become screwy in you head!
SONIC: As long as all characters is have their own lust for each other, each have different idea about screwing whcih come up during certain activities a reader can also identify with, but we not always worry about reader who is not ourselves.
TAILS: Uhhh...Sonic...
SONIC: This is part why everyone is call you gay retard little man. You insane! No one who is sane would do dis, okay, they keep it all up pent-up, unless they too is screw one eye up real tight without letting go and whisper to themselves,
SONIC screws one eye real tight and says in a funny voice, (imagine you have just unlocked your second Satan Soul, okay, first time you beat opponent, wag your finger)
SONIC: "is a no."
PAGE 9
TAILS: "Hmm...is that what they say I kicked out for?"
SONIC: Never listen to me, Tails, because I am a bad idea in your head! Sonic is dead and he died after he killed Doctor Eggman! Sonic play a parank that turn out with reprecussions because let's look later in you life how angry you are Doctor Eggman!
TAILS: "My life, what you mean, you are the one so goofy about this backwards time so now we go other way? ?And why we look at my life, anyway becaue I am sure it more fun to look at others."
SONIC: We will see that too, Tails, but only it make difference for us watching to notice when this moment is big fun party in you head, otherwise, well,
[Image: SONIC is flourish his arm to display TAIL's lifeline pulsing off into the distance between points and the object is ridged along explosive points. The object seems to move on forever and always, a light distant in the future which is never yet to be met yet these moments which TAIL's remember so well happening are now happening again, exactly as he remembered, yet, the emergence of the scene delights him. The memories erupt in his imagination, yet, TAILS is offer able to comment on these scenes through the mind scape of teh NOW permanent fixture from which this occurrence began. In the beats of seconds, four panels which would together would take about a minute to scan and piece together. Intensely concentrating on this moment, word balloons appear and describe teh scene in lurid detail.]
SONIC: Remember, you have powers with Kermit, only they is very weak because you are eruption animal. Everytime you get hit you loose all our rings and then we lose focus on the moment. Humor is for deep inside we never laugh at or ruin the enjoyment of joke.
TAILS: "Dude, Sonic, ehhhh,"
SONIC: You very stupid, Tails. Just keep working, alright, or else it get very boring to describe the scene of you materializzation in King Yemma's cloud-heaven kingdom. Is all, "Red-Tape".
TAILS: "but Sonic,"
SONIC: Even when you fail yiou is on quest to finish always with much patience because you are still such lovely little boy man who everyone is think very fondly of, including me, but Tails,
SONIC: What you gonna do about these Trolls when you is troll yourself?
TAILS: "Sonic, i'm not sure I can understand what you're talking about, right now."
PAN OUT, Tails is still waving at the stars,
SONIC: It is not always our choice when we get to do this thing, sometimes these decisions have to be made because we are the chosen ones. You and me, Tails, we don't have a choice.
TAILS: "But Sonic, this, is, uh, well, you let me be in your Sonic shadow for so long I was always comfortable, alright, and the scenery does not have any dancing flowwers, anymore..."
SONIC: Yeah, sometimes it takes forever to say nothing at all. Just remember that. Many of these Trolls is angry like you are, but they are also waiting for you to mispeak so taht they can take advantage of your thinking and make it treat them better, except when they are not even listening to you.
SONIC: It's the Frienemy complex, TAILS. They spend all day thinking about you, but it's only to hate on you. imagine how boring and sad they must be if you were not here to bother.
SONIC: They love it when you cry. When you fail. It proves them right.
SONIC: Then, you are fuckedc because when they all decide it's the group decision, rather than what who is inside the group, you are no longer allowed by them to think about them, which is whenever yuo are around them and they talk about how much you'd rather be with them then it is without by their side.
SONIC: I mean, you remember TRIPLE TROUBLE, right?
PAGE 10
SONIC: Knuckles was our enemy until we fight with him and he choose our side togetehr. Which side is Knuckles on, bro? Knuckles is on he newfag side. Never forget that Knuckles is a newfag, Tails, except athat he is also v much cooler than you will ever be if you are always stay in my shadow. You used to have adventures, bro.
TAILS: "I know, dude, that fuckin' dingo, man."
SONIC: So what you is do now, okay? You are on either side of this line for a while but when you cross it, either you is find out in thirty years whether you are Ninja Turle or Egg Man. It not always fun to find out you are the bad guy when you really think about, very lucky to know which way it might be. Sometimes is no choice, but you must choose and when the Egg Man is rebuild you will understand many much more of this thing, okay.
TAILS: "Egg Man? But you killed him because he was dick."
SONIC: Yeah, only now he is brother Egg Man, Doctor Robotnik, or my nickname, "Doctor Robuttnik." he is gonna rebuild my body as a machine, and steall all my sweet moves.
TAILS: "Fuck, dude. That sounds fucked up. We should Troll he ass, since you already killed him once."
SONIC, very secretly is, like,
SONIC THINKING: See, TAILS, you are a Troll.
SONIC: So which is why we gotta get this over with and move on to your training, except you being a whiny little bitch about this everything and make it all oozey and boring. "You gotta go fast, Sonic!" That is my motto by Sonic the Hedgehog, and there are all kinds of Trolls and Trolls Slaiyers who are not you friend, okay. They want to eat you brain and make you into puppet, yet they say they are all on your side with great big smile on the face which is never change expression. Sometime they also good guy, but how often do they lie to you face when it is about they are stick a dildo up you butt.
TAILS: "So who am i supposed now?"
SONIC: Don't fukkin;' ask me, you idiot! You are supposed to be fighting always to the right thing and make us happy to think about you, instead, is all this attention lost on you because you loose all the rings when you smoke this dope, you headcase insaneo. All time you just want to never change, but I'm a dead asshole, why are you asking me for help, I couldn't even stop teeh Trolls!
SONIC: So remember that also there are a ,lot of rules to this whole thing,
SONIC: 1. Thinking is a uphill battle to where you are get cup of water at top of hill and also two buckets of water to carry diownhill when you do it all again tomorrow. Pretty soon, water is taste like candy, okay.
SONIC: 2. It takes a lot of fukkin' patience.
SONIC: 3. Time is travel backwards from your moments of intense memory, which also means when you think about something there is always one especial happy moment you also always think about, which is why it make that fukkin' Dingo so dangerous because he is lurking somewhere out there, Tails, he is your greatest enemy and you forget it pretty soon!
SONIC: 4. when you are God it is feel like this all the time when you win, but when you lose is covered man in bees, very annoyed but happy to stick his hand in wave of smarming bees. Not always very comfortable because sometimes, also, it is a little hot and shiny which happen at the end, when you get really big about your experiences all at once, just like all the hope you had in the beginnign, so, that, hopefully, you lead very big full life that is making more tiny lights all along the ridges which is make you very excite at teh end of the tunnel! This is why you make so much weed puffs because this whole experience of meeting Sonic the Hedgehog in the stars is sort of weird and far out.
TAILS: "That's, fuckin', a lot."
PAGE 11
SONIC: So you also remember, there are times when you is notice that some ridge is very much more excite feeling, okay, is like you are thinking more about you friend than you is think about make yoiu happy. When is pay attention to others and work to give part of you light, it possible to create feedback loop where the energy is become much bigger than anything you have ever seen before because they are populating the ridges for each other. So these are special time when out the corner of you eye it is possible to sometimes almost recognize that there are other people who see this thing the same way as you do, who also appreciate this thing but they are different with it, because there are times when they are different from when you were different.
TAILS: "Like when it was us on the Adventure, Sonic? I drove a robot truck with guns."
SONIC: Basically. Yes.
SONIC: You want to ascend to King Yamma palace when the afterlife is like driving monster truck shooting flames into teh sky. So you gotta get a license, okay, otherwise you will just loose all my rings again.
TAILS: "Those are our rings, Sonic."
SONIC: You a stupid idiot, man, there is not even a way for you to use those rings on stuff, since the Defenders is buy you all things for you, anyway. I mean, what is a fukkin' store, anyways, Tails. Don't be a nincompoop, all right. Sometimes it's for us to speak like this, others it is you be a big failure and cry all the time about you one-eyed monster because, guess what, you are crazy insane hunting a monster that is you, now, you are a Troll. You are just getting high and calling your own tails stupid retard, idiot. What aobut the Defenders, why are they kick you out?>??
TAILS: "Sonic, this is a lot for me to handle, aren't there going to be other characters here some time soon? This light is very bright."
SONIC: "Tough it out, little man, you are in for a Hell Ride with me,
SONIC THE HEDGEHOG, he pull himself back, ripping off his face to reveal it's just a bunch of stars in the sky,
SONIC: So get back on that horse, all right, idiot?
PAGE 12
BECAUSE LATER, we is get DeMaro, he say,
DEMARO: "Awww. I kinda like the Baby Jebeus, though. He could be anybody...be cool with anything...or grow up to be the biggest strongest woodworker ever...
DEMARO: "And right now, as he is only a baby, well, she is very special.
DEMARO: "Like, if you want to use some imaginary historical figure, who was never even real in the first place, no way did he do all that shit, Hellen fukkin' Keller, why do we always reference some perfect fuckin' time in this dude's life. She was a asshole when she grew up, grouchy and self-important. I mean, who let's a bunch'a assholes kill them, anyway, then, she wants to keep it a secret how to bring some people back from the dead? What about all those jocks running around in armor shouting at each other in the desert,
'MY JESUS IS BETTER!'
DEMARO: "sO, YEAH, OKAY, I AM INTO BABY JEBEUS, ALL RIGHT. SHE HAVE A LITTLE POTATO HEAD AND NOT VERY JUDGEMENTAL, JUST WANTS TO SMACK ON SOME TITTIES LIKE WE ALL DO.
DEMARO: "Hey-o!
DEMARO: "Like, as if there was one set of words which made sense, universally, for everybody. You say MOHAWKED, I say JEBEUS. Let's find some titties and talk the whole thing out."
BECAUSE, ALSO, RYAN GOSLING IS DATING A PILLOW.
CAPTION: WILL this settle, once and for all, the accumulation of SONIC THE HEDGEHOG collective slime to reiterate specific adventures thought out well ahead of time because these are things that matter, right, kids? Could this also be just another toss in the window about Baby Taking? Naked redemption is a little off-putting when you come at us like this, choosing the Oscars or whatever, but, SONIC THE HEDGEHOG changes shape a lot, man, it doesn't really matter who the little girls are they introduce in their games-- whcih is where yoiu are wrong, man, SEGA!
Screaming into the night, DEMARO loses it,
DEMARO: SONIC has Numbers! SONIC has Adventures! SONIC has CDs! SONIC has Knuckles! SONIC has the Game Gear (whcih we do not play out of respect for SONIC)! SONIC has Colors, I guess, with Nintendo! What SONIC does not have is Continuity, bro.
DEMARO: Whose idea was SONIC X?? FUCK, SEGA, YOU BUTTPLUGS--
DEMARO: What the fuck happened to the showdown with MECHA SONIC?!
DEMARO: How are we supposed to get behind Sonic the Hedgehog when you tell us his feelings are one way, then another, then he is dating some loli teenager?? Like, I'm not sure I'm expressing it correctly, but, you should know that when you make a character's story about this thing you are not allowed to change their universe without explaining how that bullshit happened, alright!
DEMARO: TROLLS!
PAGE 13
MEANWHILE, ON THE PORCH,
DEMARO continues to wax philosophic, after that huge battle with ROB, who has no ears.
DEMARO/RYAN GOSLING: "I get so scared about corporate culture.
DEMARO/RYAN GOSLING: "Like, what if they made a clock that told the time with color, only, it became very popular all at once so that it was everyone agree mid-afternoon five o'clock was green, lunch time noon until four fifty nine was purple, et cetera. Then, everyone is think about these as ruels of life which permeate every aspect of the universal except it was just fashionable-- like culture rules. Boys wear blue, girls wear pink, this idea is not always true, but when you look at American products of these items then you understand a little quicker that this is true for these people.
DEMARO/RYAN GOSLING: "So, what if some good ideas are made more easier because The Mesh is like these people who think about profits from simple pleasures of the world."
DeMaro/Ryan Gosling holds he pillow girlfriend under he one arm, also holding on very strong to the railing, pine trees occluding his vision, except he only leaning against the railing because he has only one arm. In come Baby Jebeus from inside, opening bay windows gently with the power of God, DeMaro, greets her, says,
DEMARO/RYAN GOSLING: "HO! Already up and ready for battle, eh, Baby Jebeus? You sure are strong team member, but I wonder, Baby Jebeus, will you grow up one day to have a beard?"
Baby Jebeus, very confused about this question, then DeMaro, he realize, we see as Pillow Girlfriend-Perfect-Androgynous-Geisha grasp Baby Jebeus, and DeMaro says,
DEMARO/RYAN GOSLING: "Ahh!! You are still only a baby! I do not wan tot stress out my hero, or anything..."
DeMaro look to camera and begin to monologue for joke, he close his eyes, shrugs, sort of off-kilter, a sweat drop appearing as he says,
DEMARO/RYAN GOSLING: "I mean, I don't want to sound uncool or anything. That's fukkin', fukkin' Tails' thing. And, anyway, it's not as if I really do like you or anything Baby Jebeus...this is war! We must destroy those Defenders and OTHER GUYS from our turf, adude.
DEMARO/RYAN GOSLING: "I just hope I'm not doing anything you wouldn't do..."
BABY JEBEUS, he is mouth-teething on the hologram d20 he was making up a while ago, and Okari is cooing over his body, blowing wind in his ear. DeMaro freaks out, shouts,
DEMARO/RYAN GOSLING: "Oh my god, I totally forgot, you are only a baby!!"
CAPTION (OF WHICH THE FIRST SENTENCE IS ALSO A DESCRIPTION OF THE PANEL): Then, DeMaro is shake he head for he is in Outworld which is most beautiful place on planet Earth, where animals are imprisoned very much a lot, and the whole universe in upheaval dfay by day because the univerdse is always changing. When they do is have continuity in this place, most of time it take place only for one series of video game, exscept now some history becoming undocumented, curated. Fan apprecation is down but Game character-meme-set is play long time beyond the crowd's appreciation to support SONIC. Very much, we is wonder when SONIC the Hedgehog will support either the ABC or the FOX show (which will never happen because they are invested in new qualities, while you are invested in long-seeded ones, so, hahaha, they have imprint their design upon you for much more than you hgave on them because they still have a comicbook series, you know?), and what the fuck is SONIC X? For, how is SONIC THE HEDGEHOG is adapting to the world of mass-computation, because, from what I see, most people are still a very happy pirating a sixteen-bit SONIC that is twenty years old, why SONIC THE HEDGEHOG would have a television show if no one is buying he game, or, how about, we, "SEGA", think about who SONIC supporting cast supposed to be and why we care!
CAPTION: WHO THE FUCK IS THIS FUCKING DINGO.
DEMARO smacks his head,
DEMARO: "Doi! Now that she see how cute you are, my girl is now only talk babies, noo-- Baby Jebeus, you were next step of project Girlfriend! Shooo! You cannot be out here with the pillow goddess! You might give her the wrong impression...like, sex is only for making babies, when everyone knows our Barbie dicks are not shaped a Lion's dong, full of spines.
BABY JEBEUS gets huffy,
BABY JEBEUS: NOW wait just a minute, I'm pretty sure that MOM-DAD-FLOWER just messed up that order and people are supposed to have tiny weiners that do awesome things.
BABY JEBEUS: Like, when dogs hump, you'll notice they like to cuddle afterwards. And what about banana slugs, those are aewsome to look at.
PAGE 14
BABY JEBEUS: So, like, yeah, Demaro, it's cool. I'm only a talking baby, anyway.
BABY JEBEUS: Your pillow goddess will love you all the same, even though you're a Troll.
DEMARO: Really? A troll?
DEMARO: No way, dude, I'm a sweet Blood Ninja who can read word balloons.
BABY JEBEUS: Taht's not really the way these things work, man. just trust me, all right?
DEMARO: Yeah, okay, but a Troll? Dude, i hate Trolls.
BABY JEBEUS: Isn't it ironic?
BABY JEBEUS: Like, don't yoiu think?
WE WAIT A BEAT.
THEN DEMARO IS like,
DEMARO: oh, DOI.
BABY JEBEUS: Yeah, being a baby is awesome.
PAGE 15
MEANWHILE,
TAILS' wanders in to party, where he is very upset at the Troll Slayers for kicking him out,
TAILS: What is your guy's problem?
RECORD NEEDlE DRAGS AGAINST RIDGES, as whole party come to a standstill,
TAILS: There are Trolls out there, guys, Trolls who killed Sonic the Hedgehog and you guys are in here partying?
SPYRO is teh first one to break the silence, gorwling (yet, SPYRO is only grouchy, never angry, upset or mad, but a crotchety dragon who adores gold, yet is stuck in Outworld where there are only Rings)
TAILS: This seems like a pretty shitty plan, if you ask me.
SPYRO: Dude, whatever, get over yourself.
DOUG: Yeah, no one asked you, lame wad.
TAILS: WEll, I'm back, now, jerk off. This is my home, too, you know. I'm just not friends with my neighbors, is all.
KNUCKLES: neighbors? Dude, TAILS, we're, like,
CHESTER: We're not your neighbors, we're not your friends, we don't
CHESTER: even
CHESTER: like you.
SUDDENLY, CHESTER, rushes TAILS, pulling a steak knife out
PAGE 16
BIG REACTION PAGE, CHESTER THE CHEETAH TAILS' HOLDING A KNIFE TO TAILS' THROAT.
PAGE 17
CHESTER the Cheetah has TAILS pushed against a wall, holding his body pinned, that knife held against his throat, although not drawing any blood, mostly for looks, as they are surrounded by the Troll Slayers, who are doing nothing but watching this in stunned silence,
CHESTER: ALL DAY LONG, TAILS, I THINK ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE MYSELF.
CHESTER: HOW STRONG MY HATE FOR YOU MAKES ME.
CHESTER: ALL DAY LONG, TAILS, I THINK ABOUT WHAT A PATHETIC LOSER YOU ARE.
TAILS, his body held against the wall, stares at this cheetah in the eyes...
TAILS: That doesn't sound very hardcore to me, Chester.
CHESTER sets his teeth, becoming angrier, unable to control himself.
CHESTER: You're a complete faggot.
TAILS
TAILS is very angry.
TAILS is also very scared.
and TAILS wears confusion like...like something you wear on your face that you can never get rid of.
TAILS IS THINKING: OMG, CHESTER, i want to fucking kill you.
TAILS IS THINKING: I want you to fucking die. I want you to feel the pain you are trying to make me feel one hundred times over.
TAILS IS THINBKING: MY every compulsion is willing me to smash your head into pieces, to throw my fists in to your body with all of my strenght, to tear your face apart with my teeth and drink your fucking blood.
TAILS: We were supposed to be friends, CHESTER.
CHESTER the Cheetah, who spends all day thinking of ways to make others feel smaller than himself, does not care about this. CHESTER the Cheetah...well, who knows what happens inside the head of a dumb animal,
CHESTER: No fucking duplicates, NOOBINGTON.
CHESTER: I've smoked every fucking drug there is and I'm still standing, so get over yourself.
CHESTER the Cheetah raises a bliunt to his lips, smokes it,
blows the smoke in TAILS' face,
CHESTER: Faggot.
CHESTER THE CHEETAH IS THINKING: Well, this was funny at first, but now I am sort of stuck in this position holding him against the wall and I can barely even remember how this all started, but now I seem to be in control of another person, I wonder what I can do to him...
CHESTER THE CHEETAH IS THINKING: Honestly, though, this is hella boring if he's not going to fight back.
Everyone watches, not doing anything, as CHESTER THE CHEETAH holds TAILS' against the wall.
This goes on for too long, in the manner which only comics can do, until, TAILS' breaks the silence,
TAILS: Hardcore rules.
CHESTER THE CHEETAH raises an eyebrow,
CHESTER: ...
CHESTER: Whatever, dude,
CHESTER: I'll be back later when everyone forgets about this. Then me and the Troll Slayers, who I do not even like that much but are the only people I am friends with here, can party some more.
PAGE 18
TAILS thrown outside, again, this time like in a good cartoon where they can pick up an entire person from their clothes when they get ejected from a bar, and TAILS is thrown through the air.
PAGE 19
Picking himself up, TAILS dusts off his sweater, looking forlornly at the sky,
MILES "TAILS" PROWER, he waves at the sky, and, he says,
TAILS: "I am going to miss this state of perfect contentment and perpetual arousal."
Then, MILES "TAILS" PROWER is lift bong to he mouth,
he lights it
and inhales.
PAGE 20
MEANWHILE, at the headquarters of THE MASTER, a base built into the side of teh mountain, whcih looks suspiciously like the ELVEN mountain from ELF Quest, because this is the first thing whcih I though of as a reference, sorry Pini's, <*MWAH*>
THE MASTER is outside with TOM,
THE MASTER: You have progressed, steadily, TOM. I am most impressed.
TOM the Cat struggles to maintain a single gigantic KAIJU claw-finger, sweat beading his brow,
TOM THE CAT grits his teeth, small devil horns swelling from his brow.
THE MASTER: CONCENTRATE, TOM. YOU MUST GROW STRONG FOR THE TOURNAMENT.
TOM THE CAT, slowly, ever so slowly, delineates the muscles which compose his KAIJU form, slurping them back beneath his fingernails-cat-claws. WHEN SUDDENLY, THE MASDTER'S thoughts appear in TOM's panel!!
THE MASTER'S CAPTION: When you have completed your training, i wish to show you something, Tom.
NOw, it is an image of a brain in a jar, air bubbles rising
THE MASTER'S CAPTION: Something which will tip the scales in this war between Trolls.
PAGE 21
SONIC constellation looks down on TAILS, so sad, heartbroken, never repaired, only ressurected in a shell of his former being, he looks down at little TAILS and he thinks to himself,
SONIC: Why is this happening to us, TAILS?
ENTER! GOD! A CHICK-DUDE-PLANT, God says,
GOD: No fuckin' reason, Sonic.

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YTMNT

Nov. 8th, 2013 | 05:56 pm

RECAP PAGE!
Sitting together, cans of MTN DEW clenched in their paws, two fur suiters, a Tony the Tiger and Count Chocula are talking to each other, in a busy cafeteria.
"Yeah, man. I've seen the end of the Light. I know how Tails Gets Trolled ends, man. This is teh future."
"Oh,r eally? please, pray tell me what purpopse you may have considered the twist ending, Tails Trolls Himself with help from friends?"
"Np. Is different ending. Now is continued, short fool."
"AH! Pray tell, what is the meaning of this, to not end? Only to troll?"
"NO! Is now, Shadow in jail, make priosn for long time to kill Troll, and Sonic is gone to recharge, return as Cream or Amy or Big-- if you lucky. Most othertime, is Mecha Sonic come to Tails mind and see him on television, think about how this strong guy make he own rules, live by the dust on he shoes."
"AHH! Mecha Sonic, I see, I see! Tails is still drug addict? Now is parents, where? Help. Family?"
"TAILS is adult with functiuoning Baby Mind! He is make own rules, never hurt, nurtured by some "Greater Than God"-force, probably a delinquent Church group, more akin to gang fighting and videogame SONIC THE HEDGEHOG-HERO-FANTASY-logic or is also could be the government! So when he all of a sudden have casual consumption of once taboo substance, mind is erase and all good thoughts is force all of time.
"Now Tails is stuck in a pool hall dungeon and people are make him help them hurt him for free and no one, inculding his family is happy with he!"
"I see he complain about Guild. Where is Knuckles, he is Freind, right?"
"Knuckles is live he own life! Lead by example, alsways on his own, climbing the alps."
"So, where is Tails now?"
"Tails is far off in the world beneath he friend's house. they are gonna do Furry porn. It's a given. 'What is lead-=up to this, why do it make us feel uncomfortable? Why you read this if you not enjoy it? Why you talk about it, you not read it? Unnderstand it?' we weill tell them when the Church is say, "NO!-- furries! Yeuck!" to clear up confursion! They will undeerstand what it means to be fifteen and driven by deviant thoughts until you burst! To say NO and stay the course! What is purpose, little Tails?"
"...I guess Spyro's sort of a closet rage0case? And the rest of his so-called buddies sort of layt around and do their own thing, then...like, snack on budget, troll the hills on bicycles. Steal a neighbor's car? After learning about it from the internet gang AMN, or becoming confused about the meaning of desire. Chester'd covet someone's gun and ride, steal the car because it was always there and toss it in mix."
"Word would get out about that one, waaay too quick. Tell you waht, I got a cousin's seen this nice white fella's piece when he tried to rob he. Smart kid, wrote down the license plate and slipped it through to me. I've been on these forums talkinag about jacking rides and hacking and like knowing your neighborhood, where you live and shit."
SHORT ASIDE FROM AUTHOR:
---"Tails becomes very interested in this when he finds out how much more fun it is on alcohol to drive. how can he say No?"---
END SHORT ASIDE FROM AUTHOR.
"Chester is has been, very difficult for Tails to understand. This little child man has been following the Cheetah's actions but is still unaable to determine whether the beast is acting in his own manner or another way which leads to bad fallouts. To Tails, all paths lead to Bliss, Nirvana, Heaven, his is the second controller, unable to be hurt by any impediment or being so long as he can keep Sonic alive."
"But where is Sonic?"
"Isn't he..."


PAGE 2

POETRY:
"And the last I had seen of Knuckles was his dreadlocks in the air flapping through the breeze as he wound off up the hill..."
END POETRY


TITLE PAGE
"TAILS GETS TROLLED PART 2
"TWIZTED"
[IMAGE .GIF]
[TAILS' tongue lolls, one eye closed in pain as he clutches his stomach, unbalanced. Around his head float the images of his friends, a swirl of thoughts and desires pooling in their center spin. The characters of Spyro, Chester the Cheetah, Doug Funny, are all chibi-sized, DRESSED per their family, Spyro wearing short Red sleeve t-shirt beneath a flowing leath jacket, Chester wears his short hair slicked back, sharp shades slung round his eyes, smudges of oil blending in to his fur, hopelessly, absent-minded about keeping his work, tools of the automotive industry spilling form his jeans pockets. Doug Funny's expression is drawn out far away on his face, a deep violet sweater over a dark green shirt, now sober and never doing drugs but continuing to be with old friends.
THE GANG]


PAGE 3

TONY THE TIGER is still speaking with COUNT CHOCULA, as the Count experiences divine inspiration, biting into chocolatey marshmallow cereal,
"Ahh," he say, the chocolate pieces dancing around his head,
"Is need DISNEY STATUE!"
"Very close, is need more Furry to make life good. One thing always taken away from them is Furry sex. So now, Tails is get soft comfortable sex in someone's basement with other character who is not quite appropriate for this task-- but is very alluring nonetheless because of misunderstood feelings of comfort to which the end result would not stabilize."
"Oooh, is Second Life Brony!"
"Yes, also, Mario is in here. So that is good question. Sonic AND mARIO IS BE BIG BUDDY FRIENDS, YES!"
DRAMATIC "PAWS"
Count Chocula: "Say, where is Sonic, anyway...?"
TONY THE TIGER: "OH! Dramatic tension!"


PAGE 4

LATER,
TAILS is wandering around with his buddies, fukkin' baked out of his mind and saying,
"lol this shit is retarded, you know what I mean? Like this fukkin' Troll battle is lame and shit, so we should just quit all this crap."
Then his buddy Spyro is like,
"Are you twisted, T? This shit is homegrown, nigga, you ain't seen what we can do on this smart weed Knuckles smoke."
But Knuckles who is much smarter than anybody realized is like,
"Yeah, actually, you guys, I'm high as a fuckin' Asteroid, right now."
and then the camera pan out. We see that the island they are on now has a really good view of space and they are waving at it, after a moment, because they are all hgih and stupid and when Tails is laughing a lot he starts waving at the sky and then they are all waving. The sky is very big and everyone is very unhappy about this but they do this anyway.
"This is very important for later," a shadowy voice say, "because when Tails is on trial later, this will make sense." We do not reveal it yet, but this is LUIGI! HE is now wearing a purple bowtie and you can see his fingers through his gloves-- they are cut off. (NOW IT IS THE YEAR OF LUIGI and "Miles" TAILS will be hung by a court of his peers, when he is deemed, "UNCOOL.")


PAGE 5

MEANWHILE,
SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG, he is party a lot with he boys and they are very happy.
SHADOW: Beer's froze in the cooler, so it's me and [whoever the fuck is on SHADOW's team, only TOM and maybe SYLVESTER who is dead, there is also COYOTE but he is mostly in heaven for a while. His body is soaring with power, so he must go steam it off in the desert and bake in the sun for a long time to clean out the anger. His dark brown fur shields his body from light, so that even standing in the open he is darker than his surroundings, the overhead projector's lights clamped above seems to fall lighter or less dense on the whistling, hopping marionette-string-physics-body, okay, so COYOTE is not here, it is probably CLOSE-UP on TOM!!]
TOM: "sh'yea, man, it all fucked with and what with it, shit's all good but I'm a kill your ass." [TOM is very scary!]
WHOEVER IS HANGING OUT WITH SHADOW AND TOM, you is a crazy ass hoe, look the fuck out, though, alright, don't act like you trippin', nigga, a'ight? You got straight up blades comin' out yo' gotdamn eye sockets you are using to carve up a fool with or else your ass gonna be a fuckin' voodoo doll of a couple freaky ass Cat Brothers or some shit. Alright, keep it real. [WON'T NEVER HANG OUT WITH TAHT HOMIE] -waka waka waka
SHADOW and TOM are out the door. SHADOW tears at the street outside, large super-melted clods of debris falling to teh ground as he kicks his feet. TOM activates his DEVIL POWERS with a flash and transforms into a grotesque monster, a beast made of demon flesh. Two large legs stand out from a cradled body, plates jumping from a plume of spine down it's grotesque collar, scales of lavender-purple shine off the monster and TOM screams into the air curdling the air with sour emanations.
Together, after having first made the mandatory eye-contact-and-head-nod, SHADOW and TOM-KAIJU race off towards the city, deep from their mountaious retreat, SHADOW on the road, TOM-KAIJU alongside the road in a creek bed the merest whisp of his head squeaks out from, wearing paths running along the creek bed path.
SHADOW throws a piece of dynamite into the air, TOM-KAIJU shoots it out of the air with his finger-pointer blaster threads. Smooke wafts from the barrel of his fingers, the ligaments rip through the air, stretching loose, sloping and sliding as they return to shape a ruddy finger, slooshing behind a ragged fingernail. TOM-KAIJU laughs and jumps itno the air, his shadow running deep in the tree's foilage abreast. CLOSE-UP on TOM'S eyes, lurking beneath the mask of the KAIJU, TOM is thinking to himself,
TOM: "Hahaha, stupid idiot Trolls, i can shape change so go fuck yourselves. Only with my power I am more strong than to share buddies with the likes of SHADOW, except I guess I can wait as long as there are chicks. What now is to work for against the DRAGION SLAYERS so as they are out of here before the Master comes out.
"The Master comes out after Dark."
SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG is running along the street, shooting big guns and laughing a lot
[NEXT PANEL] at the tracers running through teh night. He peeks over at TOM-KAIJU and glares. [this is ominous to mean taht SHADOW is plotting to outwit TOM-KAIJU]


PAGE 6

MEANWHILE,
TAILS is high as fukk, and he's ta;lking,
"Fuck. dude, i'm straight up wasted on this shit, though, right? Like does knowing the strain make you less immune or some shit?"
DOUG FUNNY, still jumpiung up and down and sputtering about teh time he,
DOUG FUNNY: "...might have peeked at his buddy skeeter's mallet during gym class, which is just about teh only time, all right?? Just cause I got super high that one time just now and talked about this shit, you guys are never going to menetion this again right?"
They stop walking at the cross walk, stare in the reflections from across the street, KNUCKLES, TAILS, SPYRO, CHESTER, burst out laughing at the same moment, crossing the light.
SPYRO: "Spare us a mo', ya queer eyed bastard. Your shit is straight up retarded about lovin' buttholes."
KNUCKLES: "Ain't way til your mind's racin' about it, fag tits. Your dick is core rot your mammy and pappy figure out they raised a queer-mo who's been rubbin' Skeeter's noodle under his sweats on the bus to Track Meets."
DOUG FUNNY's eyes widen in sheer terror his mind retreating far off into the distance between his brows, infintesimal specks of horror vomiting towards abomination, sweat beads trickling down his face, tension and unfathomable taboo sinking in all at once, DOUG FUNNY is become instantly snapped.
DOUG FUNNY: NEVER GAY AGAIN
he scream and shout, running ahead of his buddies who are just now about to change the usbject of conversation when it is DOUG FUNNY run like a momma's boy up th estreet to cry about the dicks he sucks when his parents are not watching.
CHESTER the CHEETAH says,
"Just thinkin' about that ass gets me worked up to fight some bad guys, you know what I mean? Let's screw with some bad guys who are fuckin' our shit\ up. While it's right."
The other guys are like,
"Sure, you're right, CHESTER. We need to deal with intruders before that pussy dry up."
"Pussy, well, Funny's chasin' his own dick through the streets but, me, s'like we got a good view of the next fuck fest. Way I feel, rather get some beers and pound out some poon."
This makes CHESTER the CHEETAH think, then he say,
CHESTER: "You motherfucker's is all right, you know that. I'm gonna lean back on this weed thang but then we are getting fed up! We are Trolls into our ears, the whole place is festering with them, so we take care of business, then we take our business, then we take away the Troll business and Troll they ass."
KNUCKLES: Fuck CHESTER, that's a pretty good plan and all. Must ways you thought of this to make the land safe for TAILS, right?
CHESTER: "Nah, dude, my shit ain't tight, yet."


PAGE 7

MEANWHILE,
TAILS "MILES" PROWER is baked as fuck and lumbering around in a black sweater that is part of his friend's business. Dude, TAILS is admiring the look of everything and totally lost in this world where he thinks SONIC the HEDGEHOG woill still protect him, everything is bright and not fucked up like it was back with Ronald McDonald who is very bad guy but mostly misunderstood until he come back and try same deal over again, just wait, he is bad motherfucker, RONALD MCDONALD, always is pretending he is hurt until he tries to kill you very strong and well, you understand. ANYWAY, since TAILS is not looking around and talking to his buddies they decide they are mad at him, because he can only see the bright objects in front of he,
SPYRO: "TAILS, the fuck is wrong with you, bro. Shit is mad edgy, yo, it fuckin' stank you throw your bad feelings around here all th etime and make us double think."
KNUCKLES: "YO, chillax Spyro. You trippin' on this when before we had to fight the Trolls? Dude, what is your beef, yo?"
SPYRO: "Shit is just edgy, yo, alright. Fukkin' Tails' ain't saying nothing and all, mad sketchy."
KNUCKLES: "It's a'ight, bro.
KNUCKLES: "BECAUSE WE BRUOGHT A BONG WITH US!"
Everyone is "Wooah!" like in Bill & Ted
TAILS still fucked out of his head, wander around lost in sight and mostly say in his mind,
TAILS IS THIKING: "Things is fukkin' retarded."
CAPTION: He a good boy, that Tails. Still, is too much big world without Sonic, you will see, /when The Master is get here./


PAGE 8

MEANWHILE,
A bunch of chicks are hanging out,
ROUGE THE BAT, who is look very sexy, okay, all right, she is talk to her girlfriend, who is also Vivian the bad-ass good chick Ghost Defender,
VIVIAN: "Aye. Now I know you not trippin' through our base headquarters when you is Neutral in all this anyway."
ROUGE: "Hitch your bonnet to teh door, lady. Jeez, ghosts sure do carry a grudge. Where does this hostility come from when I am just lookin' for my man."
VIVIAN: "The Team is split up now, oaky. We can straighten taht out after ROUGE leaves. This is Troll War!"
ROUGE: "Re-lax, alright. I'm just lookng for the dudes, antyway."
VIVIAN: "Well great, now leave. We don't appreciate your meddling when we're dudes, anyway."
ROUGE: "Psh'yeahg, like you even know what it is like to hang out and love a dude who is the best at being liked by some cool guys. HAAHAHA, Ghosts are also mad awkward about booty."
ROUGE THE BAT saunters off, and VIVIAN clutches her fist,
VIVIAN: "Why are we only the two women...
VIVIAN: "I am gonna hacve to cast some magic spells in order for us to have more women, okay. So first things, let's scout the area for Defenders."


PAGE 9

MEANWHILE,
TAILS is high as fuck, still waving to the sky, when he is see SONIC THEW HEDGEHOG in the stars. Firtst thing TAILS is apologize to SONIC, he say,
"Ahhh, SONIC, I miss you."
SONIC THE HEDGEHOG is, like,
"That's right, little TAILS guy. You and me were partners against hte Trolls and now I am in heaven."
TAILS, baked outta his gourd and unable to decipher truth from reality, he begins screaming at the sky,
"SONIC THE HEDGEHOG!! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO?"
"Don't fuckkin' worry, dude, this shit is easy, alright. We gonna wrap up you story in a couple'a heartbeats, okay."
"Okay, SONIC THE HEDGEHOG. All my life I is look up to you, tell myself that one day I could be Troll slayer like you but now my shit is retarded and dumb. I am waiting for my friends to help me but they are not, so what should I do?" TAILS pucker his lips, close he eyes, making a wish on a star,
"Cause SONIC, I all alone and high as fuck, otherwise is great time for me and I am very happy being miserable because everything I have known always is still going just fine, okay!"
SONIC THE HEDGEHOG, he look at TAILS, SONIC body some sort of far off distant light, just looking at he, helpless from so far away, because know is when he buddy SPYRO thrust bong into TAILS hand, and he looks at his buddies in a drug circle in some park, eyes puffy and confused, half-awake,
CHESTER: "Hits from a bong, homie, hyuck hyuck hyaaaahh!!" big stream of weed come out he mouth.
SPYRO: "Light it and pass on, momo."
TAILS is look at them, suddenly very scare,
TAILS: "But I ain't got no weed, homie."
Suddenly, everyone in drug circle turn to TAILS, look at he,
DOUG FUNNY: "Ain't got no weed? How we s'posed to rid this land of Trolls and get stronger for the tournament if they is smarter trhan us, Tails? You stupid, idiot."
TAILS is say,
"Ahh, weed, fool.
"Where the food at?"
Undearnth all this you can see Tails head is cracking inside, his whole mind is broken, distant, he still think about SONIC in one eye, the other eye reflecting the park back at his buddies, PAN OUT, TAILS Drug Circle is empty, because KNUCKLES there, only he not talking.
OVERHEARD from far away, as the screen moves through shots of OUTWORLD, the sky deepening red above them, from blue to green, yellow, orange and flourishing, this are five sequential slits in one panel, we see,
SONIC looking worrisome from teh stars,
park trees along the top of horizon line as the gang walks together down teh street, view from their feet biggest to the legs "KEEP ON TRUCKIN" TAILS,
they are reflected in teh window CARL'S JR. as their reflection piles atop the window and they cheer each other onwards,
Until now they is on bus together and sit quietly at bus station for an hour,
Still sit around and CHESTER is roll another joint, small, mostly for he'self. Then is next for the bong but no bodoy has no weed and TAILS is have money sign pop up over he head like questions makrs.


PAGE 10

MEANWHILE,
SHADOW and TOM are drifting around town, the sky is still red, and TOM is having a fun time with his new monster form,
SHADOW IS THINKING: "Tom's fuckin' powerful, dude.
SHADOW IS THINKING: "What if his idea to become most powerful of all us Troll Slayers?
SHADOW looks up at TOM-KAIJU who is beginning to unravel the monster form, all lines of muscle-form-tissue flowing out like ribbons, leading along his body to bulging muscles emanating from his hands.
THEN, SHADOW thinks,
SHADOW IS THINKING: "Gotta find this freaky-ass 'Master' that TOM is always whining about...that fuckin; guy who gave him powers...
SHADOW IS THINKING: "But wasn't that shit an accident? TOM holds grave potential, methinks.
SHADOW IS THINKING: "His powers are by accident...I wonder how much yet to potential?"
Large words appear on SHADOW's face,
NO FSCKING DUPLICATES, NOOBINGTON.
This disruption to his thoughts causes great vexation for SHADOW, who lands to one knee, while,
behind him the cfity is ruined by teh faultering of TOM-KAIJU, who is half-transforming, still.
Dazed, grunting, SHADOW pels his pained gaze from the floor to face this new terror, a man emerging from the shadows, his face half-peeled in darkness, still, deep, a thin stretch of braided white hair falling from his chin.
CLOSE-UP of this guy, who is The Master. We see his eyes deep in the darkness and they are twin specters of flame, the vibrancy of his skin rough asbestos,
The Master: "Name's The Master, fag.
The Master: "You're 'bout to get a training session in gegttin'g pwned which is lucky for you clowns," says the Msater, who blows his words out in grey and black smoke bubbles,
The Master crosses his arms and turns his back:
The Master: "Since the Trolls are bout to run a train on you idiots after they is bang Jessica Rabbit."
SHADOW and TOM, who is now transformed perfectly back to normal, shiver, thrown for a loop in stark terror, they gasp in unison,
"That's my girlfriend!"
Then they look at each other.
"HEy! That's my girlfirned!"
TOM: "Fuck you, you can't allowed to have two girlfirneds just because you're fukkin' awqesome about being dude."
SHADOW: "Ain't no bullshit about wives in Heaven when you can bang whoever you want, so fuck it on Earth, alright."
The Master burst itnot eh middle of the scene, saying,
The Master: "You're both stupid. Jessica Rabbit is my girlfriend, idiot.
The Master: "So train tonight and we will catch those fuckin' trolls with their pants down.
The Master: "Fumigate you fudgepackers!"


PAGE 11

MEANWHILE,
The TROLL KING he is very naughty, he is think about sex a lot,
TROLL KING: "Let's find some titties, yo. My dick be itchy like a motha' fucka."
So the Troll King rolls out with his buddies, and they screwed up on lean cups, sippin' on they side's, bodies bent all around in a loop to gets some butts and boobs in their face. It is like a big sarcophagus when they see it, a building moldy with sweat and vinegar, and the Bouncer at the front door is give them tiny looks when they go inside, then Bouncer is take secret instructions from man in hat who whispers about Police Badge.
Inside the titty bar, is many boobs they buy under PAC MAN okay, from behind one way mirror. The Girl is dance around them and the window is place so the furries get to sit around in a huddle without look at one another. The Troll King and they all is very excite to sit down, then is lewd thing to imagine girl, oni demon girl who is very scary sexually because she is talk about getting off on doing worse things to you, so you are very respectful for this one image in the center, okay TROLL KING. IS Big Boobie "Mega Milk" t-shirt-belly-with-button-innie, she is talk about stick a dildo straight up you butt along the curve of you neck/spine and then she also put her two fingers in the opening, all with the hologram of her hand motion:
[IMAGE:
[She is hold out two fingers in her fist and twist her arm, thrusting two fingers up the pipe straight throguh. Small motion lines twist arounding her hand and the uncomfortable gaze of butt-fuck-boy, TROLL KING. She a very scary, beautiful woman who want to fuck you in the ass until she orgasms without touching herself, be very careful of any wrong movements with her, she will not settle for less because that is she why behind teh glass and not you, there big boy.]
SO, I guess they try install one-way mirrors but is so powerful this lady, she enrapture TROLL KING,


PAGE 12

OUTSIDE STRIP CLUB of JESSICA RABBIT, LATE AT NIGHT IN OUTWORLD, ORANGE leading into BLACK sunset horizon line,
TROLL KING: (thinking to he'self, deep in thought--
TROLL KING buddies, the TROLLS and also with hIm his underling, A CHICKEN with gammy old legs, the CHICKEN from KFC, pudgy, no beak uncomfortable and wearing very many layers so it sweat beneath fat guy plumage. This a CHICKEN escape from KFC ROTISSERIE and now live life as criminal don, so he chubby turkey, v gross mouth, he says,
KFC CHICKEN: "Somethin' don' smell right up in this piece, TROLL KING."
The fuckin' Troll King, he's piss derunk right now cause he got some candy from outta Four Loko in his hand, he quiet and groggy, drunk spirals are falling outta him and he is confused about what he doing, let alone thinking. He is pissed, so he is not [paying a whole loit of attention to his surroundings and smell is veryt far away, too,
TROLL KING: "Fuck ya face, idiot. You smellin' you own farty breath. Don't breathe your caca on me, though, fool. Some fine ass hoe gonna be smellin' me soon and if she think I smell like yo stank butt you gonna be Trolled, idiot."
The KFC CHICKEN is like, "Oh shit, he smell that?!"
KFC CHICKEN: "This jiont ain't legal tender is what I mean, Troll King."
THEN Troll King is stop, look around him and wonder about this for a moment, okay, maybe he have a point, he lift a finger,
TROLL KING: "We look like fukkin' nerds hanging out here after hours for a piece of snatch. We gotta keep up the suspense with this girl, ya' know? Like, make her feel romance,"
KFC CHICKEN: "So what is it you thinking? Stake out the place while's I scope out the bad vibes from the car with my case of liqour."
TROLL KING: "We should also follow Jessica Rabbit to her house and scope out them tittays, ya' efel me."
YU-GI-OH: "Whip your dicks and clutch your sticks, yoo!!" he high fives the KFC CHICKEN as they walk to the car.
INSIDE THE CAR, the three Trolls tool around with the ghost radar,
"HMM...s'like there's a eco-theric gravity orbittin' this place, but it's a different sort of preeeaeaue--0- woah, 'scuse me,"
KFC CHICKEN suppresses a burp, then manages to say from beneath his next breath: "pressure zone."
TROLL KING: "so, it's like, definitely Magical properties, right?"
YU-GI-OH: "does it have a mother," he asks, prodding teh ibject for Troll weakness, eco-etheric only weakness!!
TROLL KING: "Oh my god, bros, we are gonna Troll the fuckj out of this hoe."


PAGE 13

MEANWHILE,
BIG SPLASH PANEL
TAILS learns about Weed from a dispensary. A large green cross hangs on a sandwich board, outside of a small strip of businessess, advertising that, this place sells weed, yo. The gang is standing before the place, rustling wads of paper between themselves, piling it on the one guy who has a medical card, CHESTER THE CHEETAH.
CAPTION: "This stuff mlore valuable than money."


PAGE 14

MEANWHILE LATER,
Some training is going on and the Master is like,
"hey you idiot, you are not hitting this thing right. Look at the punches ytou are making all of them suck!"
"Maybe--"
"Punch it! Think about punching it! Live that pain and you will gain, okay, but never forget to be about punching this rock!"
The Master shout some more,
"PUNCH IT!
"HOLD YOUR POWER INTO YOUR FIST!
"BEND THE ROCK TO YOUR IMPERMEABLE FIST MADE OF, whaaaa?"
The SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG punches the rock! It breaks into splinters, v sharp!
"Fuck, Master. I never broke rocks with my fist bef--"
The Master descend from the rafters on a pair of overlarge demon wings hanging from he arms, still shrouded in the night's shadow, we can see his compurse in profile, the unmistakeable form of Sam Eagle,
"AND HAVE I NEVER STOPPED PUNCHING, YOUNG ONE?"
The Master shatters the rock with kata pose, the air sweeping out from his think meat!!
SMASH!!
SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG is processing this, his eyes wide, yet measuring the distance between his own mastery of this art form, the idea of The Master's pose settling into his thoughts, he thinks,
"The Master's power! This would easily take down the Troll King, then I could march on Outworld unopposed...
"With this ability in my arsenal, imagine this power in my hands!!"
TOM THE CAT is here, standing in the back, blood-puppet powers appurred, digesting this as he yelps mildly, throwing his leg back under the spasm of transforming from scary kaiju-beast-form, the abilties of Power Rangers come back from behind the grave. He is wretching a furball, the air stale with incense and drafting smoke, deep in teh subterranean dwelling of The Master.
SHADOW's teeth get wide and pointy, he clutches his fist,
"I will master this martial form, Master, and crush Trolls with Perfect Blast Performance!"
The Master nods his approval, sitting in teh back of the room in a chair against the glass windows, arms cross, cowl up, ready to point out good posture. TOM is still back here, too
The Master is slap TOM who blast KAIJU from out of his face,
TOM is not Kaiju-hiccup, anymore, though now wheezing, red in teh face.


PAGE 15

MEANWHILE,
All the child-gang DEFENDERS gather together, because they want to talk seriously about this TAILS situation,
"Tails, we have some bad news for you. It seems taht you have been ignoring our training and gettin' fukkin' high."
"yeah, dude, your shit is straight up retarded, now, son."
"All you do is smoke outta that huge bong and wave at what you think is SONIC in the fukkin' stars."
"You are making us all Defenders look bad."
"Like we are weak sauce, man. We have never been stronger than now, but you are holding us back with all this training that you are not even doing. It's like, v irresponsible."
"yeah, dude."
"We look like idiots for helping you, ever, because you are ignoring us all the time."
Except TAILS, he is like, WTF,
"But you guys were the ones who showed me how to buy weed, though, so it's cool, right?"
Except the Defenders, they're like, NAH,
"Yeah, I guess so. That was mostly Chester."
"You don't listen to taht guy, he's baked, dude."
"Even Knuckles knows that, which is why he is smoke good tasting oregano."
CAMERA moves to KNUCKLES smoking a bong in teh background, he looks up, still toking,
Blows out the smoke,
"Of course this is smart weed, it tastes fuckkin' awesome, man."


PAGE 16

TAILS growing more confused, though also more rebellious,
"Like, what the fuck, you guys. How am I supposed to practice, okay, you guys are all dickheads who are like, getting me fucked up all the time."
EXCEPT the Defenders are like,
"Fuck you, kid. Take your two retarded tails and call us when you grow a third outch'yo' ass."
SUDDENLY, TAILS is standing in teh rain outside the base headquarters,
TAILS throws his hoodie over his head, says
TAILS: fuck it.
and smokes outta his bong, like it was some sort of magic potion, shiverin' HEALS.

BACK INSIDE,
"Real glad that Tails bro is gone, so that now we don't need to think about his whiney broke ass," says SPYRO.
"Yeah, that guy is fucked up. He uses the time away from when we are training to fight Trolls," says DOUG FUNNY.
"Fuck dude. I'm ready to fight some fuckin' Trolls, right now," then KNUCKLES also,
"Let's pump up before battle, though, straight choppin' these fools before they is burn us or something."


PAGE 17

Back at the base, vIVIAN is talking to SILVER THE HEDGEHOG about gettin' some girls in to the Defenders,
VIVIAN: "Silver the Hedgehog, we really need to talk about your gay discrimination, alright."
SILVER (is shocked): "What you mean, Vivian?? I love all the peoples, I'm a relative of Sonic the Hedgehog, our family is nondiscrimanatory."
VIVIAN: "Hahaha, nah, i'm fuckin' with you, gaylord. No, what I meant to say was that we need to talk about getting some chicks in our gang of Troll Killers."
SILVER (becoming more shocked): "I wouldn't really call us killers, Vivian...waa-a-a-a-a-i-i-it-a-minute, are you making ghost sense?"
VIVIAN: "Silver, you're a fucking idiot. What we need are girls in our gang, because nothing scares Trolls more than girls. Why do you think in all the legends about Trolls they are never getting laid? it's because they're scared of girls.
VIVIAN: "And, also, it would be rad to chill with some cool-ass chicks."
SILVER: "Hmm...I hear you on that one, Vivian, though I think we should really talk about this 'killers' impression you seem to have about us Defenders.
SILVER: "Mostly, we just fight the Trolls, right?"
VIVIAN: "MAN, WHATEVER."
VIVIAN storms off, huffy and puffy, mumbling things like,
VIVIAN IS MUMBLKING: "dudes everywhere, all up in business...rassa frassin' chode dome...dagnabbit, I'm like a hundred years old..."
SILVER is very perplexed, he's the goody two shoes of the group who believes everything they do is for the right reason,
SILVER: "Man, what is vivian's deal, anyway?
SILVER: "Hmm...now that I think about it, I begin to remember that I have been neglecting my training. I better get to work...
SILVER assumes the pose of the chubby Buddha, his arms raised above his head, palms extended towards the sky, as...
SILVER THE HEDGEHOG RAISES THE ROOF.
SILVER: "HRRGGHH!
SILVER BENDS HIS ARMS
SILVER: "MMMMRRRWWW"
SILVER EXTENDS HIS ARMS
SILVER: "ONE."

PAGE 18

MEANWHILE,
ROB is come back to the team very powerful, everyone admire he muscles and he is not able to hear them so he smile very much then sit down and become toy.

ONE STATIC PANEL WHERE ALL THE "VETERAN"-DEFENDERS SIT AROUND THE FIRE, ROASTING MARSHMALLOWS AND WEENIES:
CAPTION: ROB changes channel of television using Energy Breath, during the Round Table campfire of the Troll Slaiyers in their badass black w=hoodies. Kermit is there, looking into the fire, it reflect orange off his cowled face. while beside them all is also the otehr Defenders who are more like puppets because they is all on-screenat the same time, very few cuts and reliances on human actors to express emotion because so few of them willing to dare the wrath of mainstream subturation into comedy pocket, so choose your buddies veryearly, okay!! The Mainstream is make mkucho bucko very quick and it alluring, that light, yet most times it make everything bleached out. How much to repair a broken hear twhen we is stop to think about what wodrds come next when it is very simple, but also very fdifficult for that was a lot of weed and now is very tall in a small space, the keyboard looming outwards from me as if the world's most difficult instrument to function, spending so much time on what comes next and my thoughts are standing on their head, I have hair like the dude from STATIC X, uncontrolled smiling and laughter.


PAGE 19

TAILS is wandering around for several panels (like, about nine of them) through city streets smoking weed out of a little one-hitter, a candy cigarette-lookin' thing to be "incognito". Everywhere he go he trails a big cloud of weed smoke, and people give him dirty looks, some people angry, others shocked to smell weed in the open wind, for TAILS' is slowly, ever so slowly, becoming disapparate in the wind, growing increasingly transparent, unable to control his urges,
-----BEGIN Author aside-----
CAPTION: TAILS, it's so much better when there are a ;lot of things on your mind, for you to juggle between these emotions and intutions, your most heartfelt desires and the ones which simply emerge. When you are at peace inside, calm and serene, not the LOUD THINKING OF NOTHING brought about with psychedelic chemicals, which makes your perception of the physical less than your wandering thoughts, you can assess these sublimations much easier. For now, I would like a friend to speak with, as the people I am surrounded with are boring. Yet, everyhwere I go I am followed by unspeakable horrors, the world turning against me as i asked it to, once, long ago. Now it's unceasing and there is little I might do but shrink to the side and melt into the wall.
Where has my imagination gone and where will I get it back, for now, with these chemicals bound to my essence, there is little thought but that of the urgent now,m sifting through teh lost remains of yesterday and wondering dearly what it means to be alive when every moment is wrapped in pleasure that reassures you, blindly.
"yess," says Mr. Videogame, "I will cherish your deeds. We have been made by a team of people to suit your every base desire, thank you so much for paying us so much attention."
The whole world is laughing at me. Everyone. I will never get to live the life I had dreamed when I was child, everything now is banishment, exile, spotlight and torture. Leave me in peace and allow me to die. Less than die, is to blister.
-----END Author aside-----


PAGE 20

The TROLL KING and his team, KFC Chicken, YU-GI-OH, are in the car outside the strip club, still,
YU-GI-OH: "Where hte hell is this Jessica Rabbit, chick, dude. I love her so much..."
The TROLL KING is holding a Four Loko,
TROLL KING: "I know dude. She's really scary."
KFC CHICKEN: "All I can think about is her and the buttplug, man...like, I'm a chicken so I don't have any butt muscles, but, like..."
In the passenger seat, the Eco-theric device lights up, showing a wonderful outburst of energy on their screen, which is also a sign,
CAPTION: SUDDENLY!
TROLL KING: "Holy shit! Is that VIVIAN from the Defenders?? What is she doing here??"
We see VIVIAN floating out from the Strip Club, talking to the mysterious trenchcoat man from before, who the TROLLS have not seen before, all right, don't look at me like that.
YU-GI-OH: "Troll King, that is totally Vivian! How did she get here without the rest of her team?"
KFC CHICKEN: "Yeah, aren't those idiots chained at the lip or something?"
TROLL KING: "Don't fuckin' ask me, you think I know their godamn business, I'm a fuckin' Troll.
TROLL KING: "I do know one thing, though...
YU-GI-OH: "We are gonna have to troll her ass."
They get out of the car all the same time,
KFC CHICKEN: "HEY! VIVIAN!"
VIVIAN looks over to see her mortal enemies, the Trolls, and she says,
VIVIAN: "What the fuck are you guys doing at a strip club. Don't you have weiners like a Barbie doll?"


PAGE 21

MEANWHILE,
Defenders are fuckin' shit up, painting tags, eating candy, lounging about and being a menace while seated at a Battle Fest where htey are gonna pwn the fuck outta these guys, right?
Because this is what TAILS is think, but is not really what is happening, ya' know? this is could be only what TAILS is think is happening, because back in the real world, his sweater is getting a little dirty from not having washing machine to care for his body being on his own, without having the Defenders who are just kick him out for being awkward and weird, though? TAILS is very confused, because all over town there are big basnners displaying the SEGA FIGHTING TOURNAMENT about to happen, foreshadowing for later!!


MEANWHILE, LATER,
TAILS is feeling sorry for himself, moping around outside, sort of wandering, he is leaning against some building.
TAILS (thinking): "Man, I'm such a faggot."
DIVINE INTERVENTION, a voice overlappin' TAIL's panel, and he is suddenly, like, 'GAH! You scared me!'-expression,
DIVINE INTERVENTION: "Do you really believe that?"
TAILS looks around, back the sky, and it is SONIC! SONIC CONSTELLATION!

TAILS: "Sonic, I think I am insane."
SONIC: "Whadda you mean, little buddy?"
TAILS: "Well, my mind is mostly think about how to keep feeling very happy, you know? Like, being your sidekick for so many years, I was never hurt when they hit us, but now...
TAILS: "Now it is everything what hurrts me."
SONIC: "Tails, you are beginning to sound like Emo Troll and are you sure that you want that?"
TAILS: "I am no troll, Sonic, not even a little bit."
SONIC: "I dunno about that Tails," then SONIC takes a big huge rip from a sky-bong.


END CREDITS OF CHAPTER:

Imagine your thoughts are stacked one atop another, like in the videogame, CLASH OF HEROES
Imagine the strength in your mind when you can say, "No!" without /flippin' around/ like a child laughing as you tickle them, peeling themselves around your hologram-image, keeping the game going when they can say, "NEW LEVEL!"
Imagine how tall you stack yourself when it is a list of "No"s taht brgin you always back to the original topic of interest.

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May. 14th, 2013 | 03:15 am

How to escape from the doctrine, "Life is pain"?

I can sort of imagine what it must feel like, laying there on the sidewalk, the/my/your/false-notions-of-self body's cells squeaking out in desperation as the quiet encroaches.
Again, suicide-- a cowardly thing. A bit like going to a casino. Such mystique, glamour... Then, you imagine what those floors must look like from above, so clean and tidy. All those people below putting their favored weapon before themselves, thinking, I hope I don't lose too horribly, knowing without a single doubt the house always wins. That you came here with the intention of "not winning", sort of ruins the mystique of it all. That shimmery luster of euphoric escape which beckons so becomingly, seductive, a fulfillment of unimaginable pain and (what we imagine, never having completed this one-body trip before) release of deep sleep...it sort of washes away when you remove the sense of wonder from the action/event.

Having given myself Herpes II as punishment and exposed myself to Hepatitis for no greater cause than confusion, I now find my thoughts turning to fear brought on by the cultural malaise of taboo. Thick, black dread opening up beneath, this pit where I am unable to ascend. "Fear is the Mindkiller," and all that. Overwhelming at times to think people are looking at me and knowing the first thought going through their mind is a judgement, some ugly thought I might have once shared, a hideous truth I seem unable to shake.
Maybe that's why your fiction is so dark! we sing-song together in unison.
"Yes, well, I like to think this reality simply adds an additional layer of fear and pain to my condition.
(there's more to be said on fixed points in time, alternate realities, choice, and suicidal insanity, but why gut something which has yet to happen?)
"Speaking objectively, like, compassionate detachment, and being totally honest with you, it hurts. It's a painful body to live in. Every person is born pure and noble, a child pure in heart who, from necessity, learns to navigate and survive assuming 'Man's Law'-- a broadly accepted form of blahblahblah, go read a book or something.
"What I'm trying to say, is, that, I can live with my body and my decisions. It's not exactly what I had intended to happen, as a child, but all the wonderful feelings of life thrive in here,"
*knocks head*
"Even if they hurt, and I'm lazy, and it's so difficult to remember what accomplishing something really feels like and I can't stand to be inside of my skin when people look at me with that notion of pity flitting across their face.
"I think that's the worst horror of all. Pity."
It could be worse, you know. People could hate you.
"Oh, it could be worse. People could be ugly-nice."
¿que pasa?
"Acting. They could be smiling, telling me the sorts of things I like to hear and I can see it in their faces they aren't thinking. They're looking at the deer and we're standing right here together without ever being here.
"Like an empty space that exists.
"It's impossible to move."
Hmm...I see your point. It's terrible when people act dishonestly.
"Do you suppose you can be too honest? Like, you're upfront about something so people know, while still being judged?
"I mean, snap a jimmy on it, no problemo."
I think this problem might go a bit further than physical intimacy. It seems as though you've scared yourself to the point where you're unable to live. Like, the deer is here, man, and you're trying to throw a saddle on it.
Maybe you should think about relaxing or something?
Sit and forget?

"Funny you should say that.
"I forgot more than I ever knew. Probably why it got so bad. Let myself think hiding would wash away my problems.
"Like a boomerang these problems keep coming back."
Yeah. That does seem sort of insurmountable. ... .
Have you thought about not thinking of this stuff? Like, getting it off your chest?

"Who would I tell this to? Who would care? How would it fix this stuff?"
Why should it matter?
"JESUS, MAN, WHAT IF PEOPLE KNEW?!"
Hmmm...what if they didn't know and they fell into the same trap? What if this ugliness people are judging you for is an ugliness they never understand because it's an "unsuccessful behaviour of self-destructive madness" and ostracize others for it?
What if not talking about it makes it easier for other people to fall in the same trap?

"Fixed attitudes, you mean? Fix the self, disintegrate what was never there, attain wisdom, compassion, kindness...
"What about all the ugly emotions?"
They're all pretty ugly, really. Impermanent, you know? People wake up in the morning, sobering up, feeling heavy and awful, sharp contrast to the night before.
I suppose you have to ask yourself, 'What is important?'

"Mmm...running away, you mean?"
Is that what you mean?
"How does anyone make sense of suicide? Even the slow, pitiful kind where a person thinks there's some sort of release from form. As if destruction of these water-sacks will alleviate the pains of being.
"Ye god's this is depressing."
I think it's better to work through this than to ignore it. These thoughts won't go away because you've hidden yourself beneath the covers.
"Right? We can't sleep forever. Eventually we wake up and remember why everything hurt so much."

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Vido

May. 14th, 2013 | 02:01 am

Having known this man for the last several hours, Vido could think of nothing more than seeing him ripped to shreds and the pieces strewn about the yard. The pissant of a creature was sniveling to himself, locked away in the room, idly picking at the last pieces of his nose. He whistled a clammy tune, breathing softly, then shallow, short and whiny. Vido watched him pick at the stub, a grizzled, knotted thing where once twin eyes had gazed through an empty glare, disgusted at the images assaulting him.

Vido looked at his reflection in the mirror. It seemed less empty than he had remembered. As if there was another person there...

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(no subject)

Apr. 20th, 2013 | 08:42 pm

Tim Indigo, movie star, international man of acclaim, All-American, eligible bachelor, spiritual advisor, Man of the People had fixed his smile. He raised an arm, waving to the jackals snapping at the scraps of his worldly form. Through stiff dedication to the deep understanding he was spear-heading, the unilateral ordering of the universal catalogue whereby the bionic, fleshy forms of intelligent life would strive effortlessly to unlock all understanding of the component universe through the hidden science of the Church's mandates conscripted through heavenly transmission deciphered by the function Source, he devoted himself to happiness. Already understanding had progressed and the Church was spreading. He was proud to lend his form as an agent of pure self bringing truth to action. So, he was quite content to smile and wave. Sooner or later they would catch on and join in community, all as one, individually labeled and stacked in their purpose.
Each in their place.
The Security Forces contained his person (tightly smoothed conscripts acting to drill as one), clearing the path of all obstacles. Inside the lobby he freed the time to admire the fluted stigmata etched on their Church vests. Praise the Source, revered construct to the gated path of deep mystery. Praise all who would savor the slice which we extend them.
"It is good to see you embracing happiness, Timy Indigo," his manager Hugh said, throwing his head in close for an embrace, "You've got such an exuberance for life, it's positively intoxicating."
"Hugh, buddy, you said it. You're my guy, Hugh. Have long have we known each other?"
"We're brothers, Timy Indigo."
"So, tell me, when do we start production on Swords of the Sun?"
"You know how these things go, Tim. All these individuals," spitting the word with disdain. The Church frowned upon collective thinking, mandating an individual identity, "They've never understood the assumption of the universe like we do. We're hunters, Timy. Weak ones run their small games of push and shove, but we're the ones brining dinner to the table.
"Dog eat dog, survival of the fittest-- Anyway you put it, end of the day they'll do anything we tell'em.
"When they arrive, we'll tell'em.
"But not before, then, Timy."
"History has been leading up to this, Hugh. People are scared in this heat, they want to know it gets better. I've been having these dreams..."
"You've Ranked much higher than dreams, Timy. You need a sesh?"
"Hahaha! I've never felt better, bro. No, what I'm saying is the King is dead, long live the King. Fuck'em if they don't like the cake we give'em."


like an impatient past rising higher
"Hahaha.

Our next project will be your greatest dedicate to the Church yet, Tim.

"Mister Indigo, if we could just have you step this way. There's a new script's been delivered from the studio. It's a bit funny, seems they want to lease your image for some merchandise--"
"Demoted, Mister Yurban. You know quite well the Church Organization's position on licensing the use of ours."
"Oh it's fine, Hugh. Here, give it to me."
When the man gulped indecisively, what is he thinking, "Should I follow the leader or the master," Tim Indigo locked his gaze and repeated himself,
"What are you, an Order Trite? You hearing me, stupid? Snap to work, okay? I told you you're going to give me that script."
Moving through his conditioning, Eddie Yurban, fourth degree of the Sun Order, Tridag & Ghemp-cleansed, screamed inside his head as the manilla envelope was snatched from his grasp by Tim Indigo, movie star & All American.
Tim Indigo, an old pro, shredded the envelope

shoved the man out from his direction to the manilla envelope laying on his table.

Tim Indigo stays to listen to his Family
They continue to belabour the points he does not agree with
He breaks free from their grasp, running out of the building without even a coat
A payphone, calling his wife and child
"I love you more than anything. Being together with our family is more important to me than this career."
A growing suspicion during the conversation that she is programmed
She tells him he will need to take a 'healing'
Tim increasingly in shock, becomes slightly delusional believing his reality has become a film.
The crowds watch him move through them.
He imagines the terror of being handcuffed by the Family he's left.
A small girl's cheery attitude returns him to "consensus reality"
"Part of the program?"
Popping in a cab, he relates his life story-- still as if in a film, slightly suspicious
At the front gate of his wife's apartment, he considers the possibility of his Family coming to his rescue...
...realizing that they would now choose to snub him for favor/face lost.
Still he stands on the threshold between his old life and new.
When he sees his sweet wife looking out from her window,
the girl, his daughter, the light of his life looking out lonely on the tragic world
He steps across the street and calls up his estranged love
Upstairs, they embrace, a family together again.
In the morning, he arises the three in bed, embraced as one
Pacing the window above the city, his daughter rises and they sit together
He listens to her speak about the word
Visions of towering rock gardens, painted glass streets, the world reflected against itself
A clarity of focus on the world as it appears from a "new" angle
for a time
The family sups
He dines on a meal
Still hungry for the life he's left
His wife prompts a question about their next step
She prompts some files on the table computer with a series of cubes
Cedar rowed chunks of "gloorp" (or w/e those tech-malleable objects are called)
A hologram poised above the table highlights several possible places--
--when Tim realizes that even this instant the Family is watching over him
In a "Euphoric attack", Tim rescues his family, "abducting" them in a flurry
Tim's credit card is returned in the taxi and when the driver eyeballs him for offering to pay with an autograph
--his wife comes to his rescue, doling out some common sense change.
ONE MEDIA BLITZ LATER
Several weeks have gone by & the once great actor is blacklisted
He returns to family shows, acting on the stage to explosive aplomb
In the audience he spies members of his Family
With a person of interest, Tim watches them from a rig in his room (mobile device, wall, tablet, desk, LED air-hologram, mounted tv w/remote-app, mirror mounted by bulbs, robot guard stomach, palm-screen, clamshell, slimegoop interface, card-"divination", photo enlarged motion-capture frames)
Still unsettled that people so recognizable could both be and not the people he believes them to b.
Returns home, life euphoric in his reduced workload, satisfied with his fatherly duties.
Setting the table for a gracious meal with his family of three,
Crowned above the blinking city.
Pacing before the window that night, Tim and Neelam share time
Each quipping with the other about their lovely, awful friends
zigzaggings
Tim is restless, still, later that night
He looks out the window and sees his fairytale world populated by the Family
Suddenly helpless. To meet with them is life-threatening, to ignore them more so
He grabs his jacket, calling down to the guards posted below
Assorted men & women in trenchcoats follow the leaders, three men in liquored suits
The guards are dragged in, hypnotized and blank
"Simple mind-restraints. NOthing they wouldn't choose for themselves."
"We've simply taken a few players off the board."
"You'd like to come back with us. We love you so much, Tim. Your Family loves you."
Tim is beside himself. Manifesting a myriad of day-dream fantasies alongside this conversation.
Looking at his once trusted Family, they change form as he speaks with them, taking on sinister, quantum cleaves burrowing through their skin
They remove the guards, like animals.
A swell of emotion running through him, staring into their unblinking faces, snaps Tim to the reality of the fantasy world~~!
[¿Cut to recreated movie scenes?]~~
Tim returns to his Family, once more into the fold
"We've kept just enough of his humanity that he cares for his family more than we let him care about himself."
Back in THE GRIND
In a rare moment of privacy, Tim evokes his family's [from a distance] with a waving hologram image taken of the three of them overlooking their fairytale world.
Tim sobs
The Family comforts him and he goes with them embracing the images they place on him like a prayer rug, a mass of shifting patterns and color structures layered one after the other.
Tim Indigo MOVIE STAR~~ "Super Ripped Man"
Pineal distress
He sees himself reflected in the mirror.
∞Crass - Crutch of Society∞

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Chee Wiz

Apr. 17th, 2013 | 11:26 pm

"What if it isn't happening to you. What if it's happening to someone else."
"But it's not, it's happening to me. I'm those someone else, too."
"Then deal with it, they certainly are," Len said, her voice deliberate and cold.
"..."
"..."
In their quiet hallway of conversation, an intimacy coiled around their heavy, drawn breaths. Keno had always known these answers, they were obvious, after all, yet his mind refused to acquiesce.
That great burdensome weight that never seems to lift when you willed it gone fell heavy upon his shoulders. Receding only into a distant memory when you have become light, effortlessly curious
("You could've just said 'You better.' I can hear it, after all. ")


"I've got a few pieces of internal dialogue I've been saving for some time."
"And you spent'em. Remember?"

Madness with a reason, though one that can never be true, only believed.
God, Jesus Christ, Mohammed, Krishna, Zeus, Odin, Keno despised the self-assured grandeur gleaming from behind the eyes of the sportscaster. So pleased with himself. Confident as a quarterback staring at the jury in court.
And it all rang so clear, so beautifully in his own mind. But his inner-monologue had become so dirty, lately. The best cure is a preventative, but who could cheer the success they had never seen.

Since that day in the skemma some weeks past, the one with slow, growling reflections, where all-men were hurling frozen fowl. "I'LL KILL YOU!" he had screamed, terrified at his own shortcomings.
He remembered an incident from a few days before, walking across another, sad, broken story,

A homeless woman, squatting behind an electrical box on 5th st, 1 block North of City Hall. She's speaking in jilted Spanish, muttering and raving loudly in the day's light. Another equally worn man, his thumbs stiff in 2 Gulps of buzzing Cola, laughs with her, walking twixt yellow lines rolling meditatively center of teh road.
Her legs are puffy, bent, teal, grey pink days of youth and haunting beauty. Memories from her past spring out at her, she was once so naive and fair and now she is so threadbare and hungry is ass is shaking and she wants it, she wants it so bad when it seemed possible like before she had lost her sorrow, traded her grief for another immeasured afternoon.
She fought and remembered, crying out again. So ashamed of herself she became a haunted shell. Withered.


It might have been funny, if it hadn't been so achingly tender. Some kind of vapor in her lungs, a burning, sandpaper smoke. Maybe it was the drink...

"I think you remember, asking once, while you thought of... that you believed yourself without pity, without enough pain, and when you asked for it, you received it."
"I was so happy, and heavy..."
"Why does everyone else need to feel like you? As ugly and hurt and dying as you are."
Keno cycled his thoughts, rasping his tongue on a chipped piece of tooth. He exhaled deeply, and spoke, "I've always been like this.
"But there was a time when I asked for more. When I wanted to know pain ten-fold. I can remember asking for it, needing it...
"Escaping that was so intoxicating...so wild and careless. Actually choosing to hurt.
"Now, I am dumb and spiteful, just like everyone."
"So do you still hate yourself?"
"Less than always, but more than ever.

"Some memories still feel like they haven't happened, yet.

"And, it's like, I love secrets, but what about these ones I've never had the courage (or the reticence) to face?"
"You know,
"how easy it is to forget in the euphoria. Haunted for weeks, one night of exorcism becomes endless and they're still there, only now they're part of the scenery."
"How much of this is real, how much am I just perseverating over?
"When does the dialogue become bearable? Does the praise from people I don't really know mean so much? Where are the boundaries between my self and your self? And when does it matter, how many times in a day will we agree without being right?"
"Well, everything is inheritance, you know. We're all just reacting--"
"Untrue. Some things have no traceable original."
"Yes, and nothing new was said while you were talking into your sleeve."
Keno listened to her, turning his head aside, gazing blankly at the rustled greenery sprouting around them. He remembered when another friend, deep compassion rolling behind his eyes, had done the same. Politely ignoring everything he believed. A family member trying to escape...some sort of...tedium...
"But what about honor, Keno?"
The breeze was strong and her words pounded through the blustering winds.
"Do you think if these things could be quantized you could replicate them?"

"Am I an underdog? Why do I still feel like I don't deserve to win? Is it because I haven't learned how?
"I'm not always despicable, you know. Just more often than I'm comfortable with."
"Ahhh, see! You still have a few left."

To have loved and lost...imagine that time was a river-- dammed.
"Yes it's a simple metaphor, you can fuck right off, you know."

Time passed.

"Who would want to talk to the Beatles?
"**fuck'em!** **fuckem!**
"Old yellow yawning bastards, so old I can't even remember them!" Keno's voice was sore and angry as he railed a line of amber to his face. The beer left a pungent phlegm in his mouth, as he set his arm down, rest the head with the other. The memories from his past grew angry with him, having forgotten so much, in a time which seemed too soon.
Sometimes he would brag to himself about past lives, and what he remembered of being held below the decks of a splintered, sodden unknownable, un-contexted, cart like the 'Sharif's rode, the men here were foreign and--and, and strange. Why was I so far from home, I missed my Savannah and now we were drowning next to each other and Keno couldn't remember who he was, his lungs drew in water, heavy,
The memories existed, this much was true, although whether they were genuine or implanted--
and this was the fault of the white man
but Keno knew his self and wept the dry tears of a child who survived, knowing that, once, his forebear had been honorable. ("However threadbare," hissed a voice) More trance words, half-remembered from the past.
He wondered about "Indian" ancestors, wondering if he was more or less than the sum of his parts.
It felt like a monologue, but, more, it seemed like everything was out of sorts, like the world had chosen to become off-balance, as if it was a choice one was making everyday. Like, everything could be so violent and simple while still able to watch the trees on the frontyard yapping at each other in the setting sun, gossiping loudly. "Cool-guy" chatting up the best parts of the day in trailer-sunapse cinematic synaptic feeds, chuckling with you the whole time you chose to believe them.
Sometimes you could almost forget the chemical wash, the surging flow of tomorrow. The cramped strain of trying to make sense.

I feel like someone is striking a gardenhoe into my butt.

"There are no solutions. 'Every' thing is a test of self.
"Everything happens for a reason. Can you overcome your own shortcomings and bare it?
"Cycling through 'Fuck You' rippers. You gonna shoot? Cock it back, fire it off, increase your sense of self at the cost of someone else..."
"We're getting off-topic, Keno."
"Bingo."

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Earned Heart

Oct. 12th, 2012 | 04:18 pm

The lonely, little Mars Rover. Flopping golden ears back and forth, the little man watched the torturous march of the rolling cradle. Already he had flipped through the circuits and hatched small routes, disappointed in the agonizing screeches of the shell, he admired the thing's cooing radio-active static. He watched it stop, a lens contracting for some time. After, more minute arm-stretching, digging, combing, examining it's coiled innards.

Bone tracks stretched far over the crescent valley, dipping towards the cresting slope. Mort was due for Watch. He seemed to relish the thing's signal, sometimes flipping on wires and tapping around the sparkling mewt-work, nestling "motherboards" and charged "memory" grids. His youth lent him a glowing anticipation, the sort of secret you never bother to name. This scuttling, ponderous grind (was still faster than the rocks) bore no kind respect to the dry Martian breeze. The thing throbbed with deep power, outfitted with Ex Tee Cee focals...he waved it at it, sadly. In a century it's nurturers would arrive, they might consider the interest, in their whistling orbit above the vast Martian peaks to play with the Martians.

Mort would flip in point five counts to watch over the stretching trek. He would tell Dale about the Mission, nearly giggling with delightful anticipation for the Day.

Perhaps Mort should share the slow bug's story...


++++++

Gathered, each Martian was nestled in a plush, cushioned fold running along the towering rock spires circling the cavern. Mort stood center, pointing through the air, cooly motioning his digit-paw through the empty-space, free to move unobstructed in this time-sacred chamber. He motioned a clawed grasp, mimicking the Pilgrim's meticulous inquiry. Drawing his segmented joints around a pebble, Mort needled the audience, he plucked the irreverent stone's image from the Earth. Two million Martians buzzed, until their chattering frenzy nearly threatened to disturb the teeming carpet of dust upon which they sat. Mort had hooked the gathered populace, pocketing the rubble.

The same as Dale. It thrilled him to witness the performance, so cunning did he toy with them, hinting at Mix. All the same, he considered flipping out and playing with some of the others, running silken strand-paws over one another, caressing the Record. Mort continued,

"It is a stallion. Not the pallid luster of our own shrouded society, immersed in the illuminous Record of our own; a cloud-dipped chariot sped from the waxing-blue-green Shaper. Built of ginger hands and racing to bathe in the departed sea.

"Alight it's carriage it is looking for the other, that trundling, wanderer elsewhere.

Mort dipped a digit-paw upwards/down and held the story of the vanishing rubble, "Consider, partners, this small creature, uneducated to replicate but spontaneous in it's methodical travel. Tirelessly trekking our auburn Shaper.

"We've all taken our Watch, seen the words so bold on the side, "ROVER". In pursuit of the galloping companion, "CURIOSITY." Will one stumble on the other's trail, or will incalculable perfect attraction draw them to meet. In the course of being, these galvanized forms will eventually abandon each other in the command of the One. As they quiet, will one care for the other in it's decay...a pair of star-struck companions, each softly doting on the other. Perhaps these two may never cross paths. Perhaps one is torn from the other in the Mix.

"In a century's count we will enjoy arrival with their long-distant creators and we might ask them, then. Coasting their delicate forms direct, flying along cornered Nexus energy, their shifting flux bodies so perfectly formed a map of Existence. Working in congruence, Earth-shaped land cousins to our original pair, tall carriages to support their Ex Tee Cee body. We'll see them more and more, then."

Dale flipped, Mort swiveling his d-paw to look around the chamber. Inside the Record it was warm. He wrapped his himself through empty-space and recognition grabbed him, overwhelmed him. Dizzy, he nearly slipped and nudged the placid shoals of the preserved volumes. Drawing up memories from the rock he daydreamed of the past and giggled. They decided to Flip.


++++++

Moments later had been some fifty counts. Awake, again. The Mars ROVER now joined by a smattering of brood, chirping and digging, building. Two million Martians had gathered in the receiving chamber and chanted crackling, pulsing rhythm. The sounds blinded Dale, Dale who had decided to receive this timeline of all the choices made to this point, he who would send his own blazing signal to the Ex Tee Cee ppl. One million, nine hundred ninety nine thousand, nine hundred ninety nine Martians diverged to branch where they would approach complete silence for another two centuries' time, bending Partner Dale between himself his existence crisply.


++++++

In the beginning there had been nothing, until something moved. Particles shook out tendrils from the Source, strands threaded between one another, abiding their reflector, drawing on form. Comets rode tirelessly through expanses of open space, the flying buttress descent etched in the Record.

Tails became tangled as they raced around the others, Dale fired onwards in a metal cradle, touching the one time line he had ever known. Careening uncontrollably, the metal twisted in flames and his map grew unreadable. Long black lines screamed on the baked pavement, oily, slick treads. Dale settled himself around the wreckage, flexing the symbols painted on his hide, NAS-A--. She found herself peering once more above the sloping crest of the Martian landscape, galloping along dusty, azure sod, so content to be wild.

=======
via http://tinyurl.com/BenevolentMassageFromMars, http://tinyurl.com/whitelite

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JHVH-1 CO© & PARTNERS®

Jul. 6th, 2012 | 12:55 am

"Dear Sir/Madam,
REQUEST FOR AN URGENT BUSINESS COMMUNION

This e-mail must come to you as a surprise, but we at JHVH-1 CO© have long believed that it only takes a day to become business partners. We understand your apprehension at receiving this message, it's not every day that the forces of creation meander to your inbox. We contact you with peaceful tidings and not to, like, stress you out or nothing. We at The Source have been working for quite a while to bring the universe up to snuff and so far we're quite pleased with how everything has turned out, there's all sorts of cool stuff we've squirrled away in here. You may have noticed a few changes around the place, some species being discovered, a few billion new spirits, and some potentially earth shattering discoveries regarding the fundamental properties of the universe. ("The devil is in the details," as we like to say!) We hope you've been enjoying what we've released so far, as we think it's some of our best work yet, but today we've come to talk about something different, an opportunity for you to get in on the ground floor of an exciting new opportunity!

Sl4ck, as we've come to calling it here around the office, is the latest Beta build of what we think will be a very exciting new product.

Unfortunately, "Bob", our representative, has passed away this last Saturday, 16 June 2005, following a rather tumultuous rebirth. He was a pretty alright fellow and we'll miss him until he comes back, which should be anytime now.
When he was crucified, for the fifth time, we decided to begin building a new system of Enlightenment, unlike anything ever sold before. While we were very excited to begin rolling out our new product, we found that "Bob" had stashed over $14,899,000.00 USD of our Most Sacred Symbols at the "Trustco" Bank. You can imagine how upset we were when they told us the funds would only be released to a Family Member. (and that's how George W Bush won two Presidential terms)

We are writing to you, as a member of humanity, that you may contact "Trustco" in the capacity of an Extended Family Member to put up a claim to this Sacred Pile Of Dough. We propose that 50% be made payment for your work and the other 50% be returned to us, the creators of all matter, which we plan on using to begin a shelter for Slackless children. After you've wired us the money, we can discuss your eternal salvation, remarkably well-priced for an eternity of not-pain, at $7,449,500.00 USD.

To facilitate the process of immediate transfer of these Funs to your bank account, simply reply by e-mail so we can discuss the details. Rest assured that as Creator, we have divine right in this manner and everything will be according to law. We would like to assure you that, of course, yes, everything is quite alright and that this plan is absolutely foolproof. We can have the funds transferred within 13 days after you've replied to our e-mail.

Trust us, we wouldn't lie to you.


Be Seeing You,
JHVH-1 CO© & PARTNERS®"

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Aye, Buddy. Do it.

Sep. 23rd, 2011 | 12:10 am

"Baku (獏 or 貘?) are Japanese supernatural beings that devour dreams and nightmares." -from the Wikipedia page, Baku (spirit)



A woman cackled from behind the wheel of a large pick-up truck, her grey hair teased outwards in a frenzy, as she sent the truck careening down the freeway. Throttling through traffic, cars swerved at the sudden appearance of a seventeen-foot tall monster pulling across three different lanes of traffic. Dewey Love (one of the Harmonizers, a people who spoke in pitches) and Prael (member of an order of monks, Prael came from a world that worshipped the images leaking in sideways of cartoon characters from other worlds. He was a decent enough guy but you should've heard his hymns) rode in the cab beside our native guide. From where I sat in the bed of the truck I could hear the tight-lipped Dewey whistling as the truck would nonchalantly lean over at a greater than thirty degree angle.

Back at "chuCollapse )

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O. Henry

Sep. 20th, 2011 | 10:34 pm

"Oh, Henry. Henry, yes."

Her flesh pressed to his palm and Delilah cooed at his touch. Henry inched forwards, his grasp forceful and demanding. She rocked her body as his rough hands moved over her body, letting out a groan of ecstasy.

"Oh, Henry. God, yes."

Enticed by her steamy emanations, Henry ran his thumb down along her curves. He kissed her, then, his lips gently caressing her. He stopped to admire her immaculate beauty, untamed and fierce.

"Don't stop..." Delilah whimpered.

Resuming his grip even tighter, he stroked the delicate curves of her skin. Slick with oil, he probed an opening and curled his fingers around the edges. He looked up to her, their eyes locking. Flexing his wrist, his grasp tightened, sending rivulets of pleasure surging through her, where tears fell from her cheeks.

"...and this little piggy went wee-wee-wee, all the way home."

"Oh, Henry. I love it when you talk dirty."

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