C.H.U.D.

Black Diamond - KISS

Say what you will about the long-running joke that is, "Knights In Satan's Service", but the Replacements cover of this song is not only better, it features less cowbell.

Does every member of the band really sing? What the fuck, is this a socialist band? I kind of figured Satan was progressive but an all-lead-singer band?




235

Black Cab - Jens Lekman


excuse me, but those dogs were only playing Arena Football



236

Gore - Black Dice

Black Dice is good.






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::upside down::???Cuando estas las cines que podia ver en espanol??? Yo tengo alquilistas un pocos cines, "Grande Hombre Japan", "Herio Amarion", "Star Trek", pero yo no penso estos se corto'...

Yo necessito un poco hombres y amigos a hablar con...y yo necessito mas practicar.

Back in Black - AC/DC

Really it was slow claps at concerts and the ten months later that was the real threat at the end of the world.








238

Paranoid - Black Sabbath

Before you fall asleep on your back and puke so much your eyes get covered in a thick, mucusy vomit leading to your swift departure of the mortal coil, ponder on this ye' mortal*,

and before you lose the bid on that delicious Mahogany Chest you fell in love with at auction and simply must now be yours,


A Quick Recap on How 2012 became the Arrival of Aliens to Earth and the End of the World

Using the stars, planets, moons and bodies in the galaxy, the Mayans/Aztecs (idk which, sorry) created advanced systems of mathematics and geometry and trigonometry and on top of creating math they built a couple'a Pyramids too. Meanwhile, on the other side of the world, Egypt's figured out the exact same shit. This synchrocity astounds most people, leading them to form tightly knit associations between the two wildly divergent cultures (Probably owing more to environment than anything else, all the Mayans and Aztecs' numbers were dwindled to such a point that Spaniards were able to blast away the last remanants, marry the pretty ones, and send all the rest up the hill. The Egyptians on the other hand, got to be a part of taking over the whole world thing with Europe and then got blasted by Islam. With the extinction of Mayan/Aztec culture and severe conditions imposed on these peoples their legacy has taken on a mysterious and alluring glamour. Ancient peoples that did Math and predicted the end of the world? Fuck Yeah.).

Constructing their mathematics system around the cycles of the universe, they calculated that eventually whatever intergalactic-phase they were currently experiencing would run itself out in 2012 (so it goes**) and we our universe would enter into the next rotation. Lots of time went by and eventually enough occultists, worshippers of forgotten and hidden ideas, and other such collectors of rare thought, flumped onto this coalition of ideas, synchrocity and cycles. Putting 2 and the color purple together, they figured out that they could believe whatever they wanted to regarding this mythic point in time and it would be true, especially since that date is fuck the far away. So they created a history for themselves wherein these two cultures must have gotten help from the stars to create such similar creations, around the same time, geographically separated from one another.

And that's why people think 2010 is the end of the world.





*This is what I imagine how people would argue with Ozzy Osourne if he continued his habitual drug abuse

**I am a nerd

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A lot of the mysticism I believe in is culled from several different sources of evolutionary thoughts. Buddhism, Kharma & Dharma & Greg, Yoga, Crowley, Hedonism, Quantum statistics, Unitarianism, and the Caballah form the primary source of my belief-ish system. I haven't memorized passages or devoted large quantities of time losing myself in one specific belief-system long enough to enact one singular system as permanently dominant on my brain's "religious nodes", which is probably why i'm such a big weiner. I just won't commit

Depression - Black Flag



Damaged was really good




240

Huckdoll Finn - Black Pus

Because I am tastelessly dumb, a few months ago I decided to plan out a month's worth of song updates all based on the theme of "Black History Month". Being hopelessly tactless I figured that it would be funnier to only feature songs by bands with the name "Black" or songs with the word "black".

I've seen Black Dice play once and I understand why he's mostly deaf. I've seen Lightning Bolt play...once, and I understand why both of them are mostly deaf. Yet, like the great composer Beefoven, Brian Chippendale has risen above his limitations and focused his creative talents on the senses he does still have, vision and touch.



If you ever have the chance, and find yourself in some basement party without a keg but plenty of pot, I can highly recommend this artist (and earplugs).


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How Bizarre - OMC

Magic is sort of like, when everyone around you is exuberant and excited, nervously happy and twitchy, others content with the world, happy with the turns their lives have taken. Others lose their minds and move to the coldest place they can think of, hoping the US gov't stipend they receive for moving to the world's most remote and hazardous location will give them some security. Instead they drop out of society and enroll themselves into the safest, warmest place they can think of to get free housing-- psych wards. Or something like that. Magic is paying attention to when there is a shift in attitudes amongst a large population of peoples, and figuring out what other events have transpired in the greater universe which may have triggered such a change.

Right now for instance, it's a full moon. Much like how women's meunstral cycles are attuned to a 28 day cycle, we've evolved over a period of several million years inside a grander system of universal rotations, planet shifts, shit spinning around in space-- all of which are things the average person never spends any time considering. Human beings, a series of living organisms who have evolved to survive under these very specific conditions*, now inhabiting the Intergalactic Starship, Earth, Wind and Fire, never weigh the option that the greater universe is in motion and our lives that we live every day are but an infintesimal portion of the great big ol ballet that is the continued existence of the known universe. Magic is sort like that.

There's a lot of simple ways you can incorporate magic, the science of better understanding the unknown, (notice the capitalization?) into your life, for example, tricking your nervous system. Simple sustained exercise will release dopamine into your brain, giving you an evolved response to growth of the muscle in the body. However, to perform such an act with only the mind set of "muscle repitition + muscle growth = good feeling" would result in the creation of a human-robot, a creature merely going through the motions and not fully enjoying the moment, striving to maximize the enjoyment of living for both themselves, and others around them. No, magic can be thought of as the co-existence of both halves of your brain working in unison to create a human being that is both fun and productive. So should you choose to work out, releasing dopamine into your brain and triggering a "happy" response, make some jokes afterwards or go lift weights in your own damn basement.

Magic is sort like being caught up in the present tense and realizing that everywhere around you are people who think they're as important as you and looking at the planets in the sky and dreaming about ways to give yourself lazer beam eyes.




*God, what if Contact is right and aliens really are just a bunch of dead relatives. Suckcity amirite?


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Esten las peliculas yo tengo a ver, en espanol.




Yo debeo hablar espanol y ya mis espanol esta muy malo...yo adivino, ?como que puedo hacer? ?Puedo herir mis espanol mas veo estes "peliculas"?? Mis posibilidades estan mejor que si yo practico que si yo hacer nada. Ya que malo ya yo sonido y leer, practicar, practicar, practicar! Si yo practico como minimo yo saber un petito mas.


Buenas Noches!

Money Changes Everything (live) - Cydi Lauper


To make more money, sell more kinds of things that make money.

If you want to make money, have more things that generate money.


I should be a Stock Broke'r!


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Chickamauga - Uncle Tupelo

For a period of two months, I lived my life with the sole belief that I was infected with HIV. For two months I spent every waking moment with the belief that I would inevitably die within ten years of that day, that my body would slowly wither away to a point of non-existence before I would have a child, that my life was forfeit to whatever Greater Powers That Be. Every miserable joke I had ever made about an anonymous person's mortal condition was to run its course through my own pitifully weak immune system, I was no greater than the horrid, dejected, limp-noodled homeless, pock-marked individuals I passed on the streets-- an outcast of my own life. Never again would I feel the innocent embrace of a one-night coupling, the warm heat of unprotected coupling-- my life was over.

It wasn't true of course. I've since taken the blood test, talked to the doctor, and been informed my immune system is clean. Sadly I will not be one of those whose epic career is cut short, no, I shall live to the ripe age of old, where I will most likely adopt a gambling "habit" and raise some odd pair of children and a litter of rats--Blue, if you please.



Yet, for those two months, my life was changed. I spent my time knowing that I was subject to a force outside of my own control, that the laws I ruled my life with were transitory, subject to the pitfalls of existence. That nothing I experienced mattered to any other person...that my existence was unique but curt.

At the beginning of month three I came to my senses and started living as if I would one day reach two hundred and thirty. Since then I've viewed my existence (occurred, occurring, and to be occurred) with a sense of open-understanding and greater exuberance than ever before. If this is to be the only form of existence I understand, then I am going to make damn sure I Love every second of it.



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Dag 9: Avond - Dolphins Into the Future

The man behind the counter said, "I love these pack mentalities,", waving his hands around at the spread of people in the store before him, "I pity anyone that has to work with a bunch of women. They probably don't even know what kind of camaraderie they're missin' out on."

"Yeah. I know what you mean, I hate having to work with girls. They're so dumb, always talking about makeup and..bad...movies, and don't you hate it when they cry at everything?? yeah girls are du--"

Suddenly a loud voice rang over the crowd and two fists shot up in the air clutching a pair of cards, a voice underneath squealed, "OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD," as the man jumped out of his chair, towards the counter where the two


whatever, the joke is, this one super nerdy, clingy guy is so eager to agree with everyone around him and is generally an unlikeable character that everyone says he can't do things, like read or have sex. Rough guy jokes about one particularly pathetic character who forces his way into being around, or some unkillable marauder-type dude who's hangin out at the back of the battle-band, lankin around until he falls into a deathpit and gets totally dismembered, and it's totally awesome 'cuz everyone realizes they totally hated the guy and now he's finally gone. Until he reconstitutes himself from the bits and pieces of that battle you guys were just in and says, "Guess what guys?? I'm immortal!"


A little late but not over!



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Can't



247 to go

Car - Frantix


I'm gonna get super-serious with whoever reads this. Sometimes when I concentrate really hard I can actually fell the little parts of my body moving around. Mostly blood, that being the one bodily function I sort of understand. I mean, the liver? Yeah it turns all my glorious, glorious booze into long breaks in between more rounds, but how it does that I'm completely in the dark on. Anyway, its mostly important when I'm sick, as oftentimes I can actually feel the infection circulate through my system, poking and prodding me for whatever it is colds and flus want. Feeling this, I can then nudge my defensive blood thingies after this invasive force, scooping it away from the walls of my body, beating these nasty microscopic Huns to death.

So far I think I'm winning, but this article on Neatorama shed a little light on why this season makes us so under the weather. I also hear sunlight kills germs, which has never been something I thought I wanted. Turns out reading can be hazardous to your health!

What if we were able to control our bodies, as in control the growth and content of ourselves.

What if the brain has been an evolution of smaller bacteria to control one large lumbering hulk capable of better caring for those bacteria?
(this is actually one of the ideas behind The Filth but I didn't realize that until I saw "lumbering hulk")

What if we can control our bodies with our minds?

Is it possible that the growth of the human mind has been towards the conscious control of the human body?

Is ESP real? Am I doing it right now?

Are you doing it to me?

Can we contact aliens?

Have we already?

Will we all die in 2012?

Who will be reborn in 2013?


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